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Apparently, I'm Lesbian!

Well, apparently, I'm lesbian.
Apparently, I'm gay.
Apparently, some prick thinks
That I just look that way.

Apparently, I'm a poser.
Apparently, I'm prude
Because I'm still a virgin
And, apparently, that's rude!

Apparently, I'm strange,
I mean, I MUST have been abducted!
Cuz who, in their 'right' mind,
Refrains from being reconstructed?!

I suppose I'll marry someone white
Cuz I was born an asian...
But don't worry if you're lost,
Just bring ME your math equation!

Since I squint when I laugh,
You better pray you don't make me mad!
Cuz, apparently, I know some Kung Fu
And I'll high-kick you off my rice pad!

Forgive me for being emo-
I spout tears with every romance.
Oh and please, excuse me for being a tease
And not letting you in my pants!!!

I suppose if I were Spanish,
You'd be interrupting my cock fight!
And I guess if I were White,
I'd have no rhythm, but at least I'd be polite!

Oh right, I almost forgot-
When I chomp down on my Big Mac
Apparently, I'm a cow
With a Uranus-sized crack!

Yet, if I'm done with my lunch
And I run to the bathroom for a quickie,
Apparently, I'm Bulimic!
Oops, hope my hands aren't too sticky!

Apparently, I'm a control freak
When I ask you where you're at.
And I take it I'm bipolar
When I don't want to call you back...

And don't you dare ask me
For last night's final score
Cuz I was born with breasts...
Oh right, that makes me a whore!

Just because of how I 'look'
Or just cuz I 'appear that way'
Doesn't give you the right to judge
Who I am in any way!

How about you shove your stereotypes
In your piehole, where they belong,
And I'll refrain from calling Godzilla
To bring it like he did on Hong-Kong!

Author notes

This poem goes out to anyone who is tired of the stereotypes, tired of all the judging, and tired of being considered anything else than who they truly are. Hopefully you can denote a good majority of the sarcasm I put into this, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I had fun writing it! Now smile and say cheese cuz you're in the spotlight!!!

*As an added note, it's still not complete... I think there are more things I would like to add in, so keep a lookout for an updated version soon!!! ;]
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Rated: M?-Mature S?-Sarcastic lol, not entirely sure how to go with this one :]
I LUV gummy bears! especially the whites or reds- yum!

*Write me a poem about how wrong it is to judge people...I dont care if its by race, gender, or the way they look....it is wrong and there is no excuse.*

**PSS cock in this context is meant to mean chicken! nothing more!!!**

Mysticblue: i'd love to be your niece!

A contest entry

What did you think? Any suggestions?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 63 of 63

  • FinalWhisper
    November 4

    Edit | Reply

    Rocks!!!

    This poem totally rocks and I wouldn't change a thing! I loved reading it and will read it again, even bookmarked it! Expect to hear more from me, for after reading this piece- I am most certainly a fan!

    Truly and Darkly,
    Dirk


  • Heavenly Angel gold member
    October 20

    Edit | Reply
    I can't pick out which line was my favorite because they ALL freakin' ROCK!!!
    This was absolutely "dead on" in making me laugh my butt off!
    OMIGOD, how I needed this write!
    Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you (did I say THANK YOU yet?!?!?!?!?!?)
    Rock on!

    Thank YOU,
    Heavenly Angel


  • TrueBlueWriter
    July 3
    Edit | Reply

    This poem was really good.

    It was sooo good. The stereotypical idea was really good

    One of my favourite poems.

    TrueBlueWriter...


  • TrueBlueWriter
    July 3

    Edit | Reply

    This poem was really good.

    It was sooo good. The stereotypical idea was really good

    One of my favourite poems.

    TrueBlueWriter...


  • Heva Feva
    July 3

    Edit | Reply
    "And don't you dare ask me
    For last night's final score
    Cuz I was born with breasts...
    Oh right, that makes me a whore!"

    These are my favourite lines!
    I really love this poem. I think in some stanzas you need to check up on your syllable count, it will help the flow. Amazing poem, I really like it and completely relate.
    Thanks for writing and sharing this. Thanks for entering my contest and good luck.
    -heva ♫


  • squirrelgirl
    June 30

    Edit | Reply
    This just wasn't funny. I was asking for humor. It wasn't funny to me at all. Plus, I'm pretty sure you broke one of my rules in there somewhere.

  • XxLoverOfDarknessxX
    June 21

    Edit | Reply
    LOVED THIS! the rhyme in this piece was truly amazing! it was awesome!!! BRAVO!!! PROFOUND!! keep up the good work! thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!


  • CentrifugalCorpse
    June 11

    Edit | Reply
    Well-penned.
    Your rhyme scheme was a bit off in some parts, but it was still a great write.
    I especially liked how you wrote "Cuz who, in their 'right' mind,".

    Thanks for sharing this piece and good luck!


  • Still Standing gold member
    June 10
    Edit | Reply
    Very good work. I love the way u laid this out!


  • lovedxinxsighs
    June 10
    Edit | Reply
    lmao that was great.
    very hilarious..i like the part abou the Asian and the math equation.


  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    April 28

    Edit | Reply
    This made me laugh if nothing else and maybe that was wrong but how many stereotypes there are and how many flippint idiots bandy them around. Well ranted. Best to you in the contest

    • Loveberry
      April 30

      Edit | Reply
      lol no, laughing is definitely a good thing! it was a humorous take towards the inequalities and whatnot of stereotypes, and i'm glad that you saw that

      thanks!


  • MysticBlue gold member
    April 3
    Edit | Reply
    True and very good. Thank you so much.
    Hugs, Marie


  • EdenAnarchy
    April 1
    Edit | Reply
    That was so funny- yet very true! You did a great job of capturing how much people suck...


    • Loveberry
      April 2
      Edit | Reply
      lmao i'm ecstatic to see that you liked it! thanks for taking the time to read this, it's truly appreciated


  • frozenblackpetals
    March 27

    Edit | Reply
    XD, this made me laugh. and sooooooo true. way ingenius. awesome,


  • perfectsunset gold member
    March 24

    Edit | Reply
    Wowwww.... loved it, lovveddd it!
    This made me laugh, so many comical
    lines, very originally crafted, as i haven't
    seen a write quite like this before.
    But behind the humour, lies existence
    that stereotypical people do dwell on
    this earth, and it's really getting annoying.
    People are who they are, culturally,
    ethnically in race, sex, gender & everything else.
    But in today's society, people aren't
    accepted for who they are.

    Brilliant!

    Loved the rhyme too!

    Thanks for entering & best of luck

    • Loveberry
      March 25
      Edit | Reply
      haha thanks so much for the awesome comment!!!
      lol i'm glad to have gotten a laugh out of you, but i'm even more glad to see that you caught the underlying message... it made my day

      thanks again!!!


  • campanaro silver member
    March 10

    Edit | Reply

    This was great!!!

    This was simply amazing!
    your a genius..
    I knew it all along:~)
    This is wonderful and right on...
    I mean write on!
    Take care
    Love Peace
    campanaro


  • Broken Roses
    March 9
    Edit | Reply
    wow!

  • andrew houtman silver member
    March 8
    Edit | Reply

    love it

    You hit the nail on the head


  • Poetic Grave
    March 6

    Edit | Reply
    I loved it! I laughed myself through. The one thing that really did get me, was the way you used your chat-speak in the poem. It really yanks my chain in any general conversation as well as writing! I love it though! Keep up the fantastic work!

    • Loveberry
      March 7
      Edit | Reply
      generally i am not much of a fan of chat-speak in poetry either, but it was kind of the mood i was in when i wrote it- very sarcastic, slightly demeaning haha in most of my poems you'll see that i don't use it very often
      however, thanks so much for the wonderful comment!

      • Poetic Grave
        March 7
        Edit | Reply
        I noticed that! Don't you just love poetry? The ability to express yourself in any way you see fit! There is just something about grabbing a pen and a napking, and jotting down something that makes me love poetry!

        • Loveberry
          March 7
          Edit | Reply
          haha yes! it's so convenient... travel size, lightweight, easily acclimated and always changing! hahaha it truly is a fantastic art form!


  • stargazer.
    March 3

    Edit | Reply
    Originality: (10/10)
    Emotion: (9/10)
    Poetic devices: (14/20)
    Structure/flow: (8/10)
    Cohension: (8/10)
    Title relating to poem: (9/10)
    Personal opinion: (7/10)
    Syntax: (7/10)
    Diction: (7/10)


    Total:79/100


  • Walking Oxymoron gold member
    February 23

    Edit | Reply
    Loving the way you put that!!

    ALthough I must protest that cos I can't sing, and I'm white, don;t mean I have no rhythm.

    I rock at dancing! Or did. Way back when. When I danced, before it was uncool... Or something.

    Oh, and If it makes you feel any better... I;m a virgin too... And a little older than you.

    So, it's all good, right?

    Excellent write here. You worded it werll.


  • NooNiThEWitcH
    February 21

    Edit | Reply
    THIS IS ABSOLUTELY WICKED!
    I LOVE IT!
    It is amazing, and the language made it both funny and extremely sarcastic!

    Could you feature it, a lot of people REALLY need to read this!

    Congrats on the Gold, Silver and Bronze, very well deserved and I hope you get another Gold for this!

    Keep up the EXCELLENT work

    Nooni


    • Loveberry
      February 21
      Edit | Reply
      haha thanks so much for the enthusiasm!!!! lol your comment made my day


  • Tanya94
    February 15

    Edit | Reply
    wow, this made me laugh! but it is also really sad that people really do think that way. Anyways, it was a great write!

  • Michael P gold member
    February 14
    Edit | Reply
    excellent write-I'm glad I read it, love the word usage and the rhynes...peace


    • Loveberry
      February 15
      Edit | Reply
      thank you much! for both the time and the comment peace!


  • once
    February 10

    Edit | Reply

    great statement... not deep

    for the contest's purposes i would say that this is declaration and not contemplation. it is, however a fantastic poem. deep or not.


  • echo-ink
    February 10

    Edit | Reply
    I'm still a virgin too, it's just pushed wayyyyyyyyyyyy back,

    This had it's humour, check this out.
    [will be back soon with a link]


  • Remix Factory
    February 10
    Edit | Reply
    u virgin ? i'm too

    lol


    • Loveberry
      February 10
      Edit | Reply
      haha yes, but it's a choice i've made... and i'm happy with it lol


  • daviscth silver member
    February 10

    Edit | Reply
    You did an amazing job with this poem!!! It's really sad that so many people judge others before they get to know them. Thanks for sharing in my contest.

    • Loveberry
      February 10
      Edit | Reply
      thanks so much again, and i certainly agree with your view... you really cannot know somebody until you take the time to truly sit down and KNOW somebody!! lol and not a problem! i am honored to be a contestant


  • Wandering Woodchuck silver member
    February 9

    Edit | Reply
    Nice rant. I know how stereotypes come up, but I also know how hurtful they are. Many times they are rooted in racism. The thing that I find interesting is when one group uses them about another, but only is upset when they are used against them.

    Well done.

    Mike


  • Kathraina silver member
    February 8

    Edit | Reply

    Judged-ola!

    ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!
    I haven't come across a piece that has made me laugh more than this one! BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!


    • Loveberry
      February 9
      Edit | Reply
      hahahaha well i'm glad!!!! and thanks so much for all your wonderful comments!


  • cre8tiv-writer
    February 8

    Edit | Reply
    LOLOLOL!!!! This was hee-larious!!! Loved it!!!! I'm totally sick of stereotypes also!!!! Great job on this!!!


  • misshugglebugglez
    February 7

    Edit | Reply
    hahahaha this was totally great!!!! it was awesomeeee! stereotypes stink, man! the way u wrote this... is like a bitch slap to the stereotyping persons face! woot woot! u go girl! amazingg write, twas hilarious!!!!!! hugglezzzzzzzzzzz,
    adria <3


  • ToxicSuicide
    February 7

    Edit | Reply
    I love this poem! Haha, more stereo-types you should take a crack at; Blondes being dumb, because you wear dark eyeliner you're emo, if you date more than 2 guys in 2 months you're a hoe, if a guy doesn't like football he must be a queer. But, I love this poem and I'm definetely going to be looking forward to some more of these to get knocked down. Thank you so much for giving me a laugh and for entering my contest. Good luck!!
    ~ToxicSuicide.


    • Loveberry
      February 7
      Edit | Reply
      lol not a problem, and i will certainly see about adding in some more!!!! XD thanks!


  • Random Goldfish gold member
    February 7

    Edit | Reply
    Hahaha, thanks for this entry. It was a funny, and I love sarcasm. Where are the Irish stereotypes? ^_^
    Haha, just kidding, but I'm Irish so I must be pissed and drunk.

    Síochán leat
    ~Mairéad~

    • Loveberry
      February 7
      Edit | Reply
      lmao well, i've never had an irish stereotype thrown at me altho my bday is st. paddy's day, but i can def see if i can put something in there for you! lol i'm glad to see you liked it tho!!!


  • ourgirlFriday
    February 6
    Edit | Reply
    nailed the stereotypes to a tee - should have won gold in that contest!


  • Harlequin Dance
    February 5

    Edit | Reply
    Hehe. "Cuz I was born an asian...
    But don't worry if you're lost,
    Just bring ME your math equation"

    I attended a school that was basically 50% asian, and being the stud in Calculus class made you popular. Then I went to college, a pretty much all-white redneck place, and everyone goes, "OMG you're asian? Will you help me in Accounting and Info and Calculus?"

    Yeahh..


    • Loveberry
      February 6
      Edit | Reply
      oh, btw- I added a bit more on the poem, and I think you may appreciate the extra asian tidbit

    • Loveberry
      February 6
      Edit | Reply
      Lmao! I can totally relate... The funny thing is that it's generally true tho! haha But it's a fall I'll take to be catergorized among the great hehe what kind of asian are you?!


  • Immortal Obscurity gold member
    February 5

    Edit | Reply
    This is fabulous; it just goes to show how ridiculous some stereotypes are. Of course, these characterizations exist for a reason, but most of them are beyond silly.

    Bravo!

    • Loveberry
      February 5
      Edit | Reply
      Haha yes, i completely agree :] lol well i'm happy to see you liked my poem!!! it's still not complete- i think i've got a couple more stereotypes to knock down, so keep it in mind if you want to check up on it later!


  • sanguigno
    February 4
    Edit | Reply
    LOVE ITT!!!!!!!!! every line is my favorite! haha its absolutly true

    • Loveberry
      February 5
      Edit | Reply
      lol well i'm happy to see you liked my poem!!! it's still not complete- i think i've got a couple more stereotypes to knock down, so keep it in mind if you want to check up on it later! :]

  • Zannah
    February 3

    Edit | Reply
    I hate stereptypes, they are pointless and they only put people down. Great write I loved it =]

    Zannah

    • Loveberry
      February 5
      Edit | Reply
      lol well i'm happy to see you liked my poem!!! it's still not complete- i think i've got a couple more stereotypes to knock down, so keep it in mind if you want to check up on it later! :]

1 - 63 of 63