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Old Folks Blues

I'm drifting down pain street,
at the corner of heartache avenue.

My soul records songs of zion,
blessed hymns of a melancholy muse.

The wind whispers my wailing tunes,
head tilted at half-mast,

as my spirit descends into funk boulevard
and my bloodshot eyes spill tears of glass.

I hum chords of misery in the night,
feeling sorry for myself.

For my lover has left me.
My friends are nowhere to be found.
My pockets are empty.

Don't know what to do with myself.

Everything around me is painted in blue,
this weary worriors will, has been subdued.

I need a healing inside my soul,
elixirs of life covered in gold.

Give me some whiskey, scotch or rum,
to chase away all this gloom.

Until heaven shines upon me again,
in that glorious upper room.

Author notes

3. Feeling the blues

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Topaze
    February 11, 2009
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    Very well done. Thank you for your fine entry in this contest. My best wishes.


  • Skybow silver member
    February 10, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Very cool write, it could easily be a song. The dark background and purple letters made it somewhat difficult to read but the poem is really good.

    Good luck in the contest.


  • Callisto Athena gold member
    February 4, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Now go and set this to some classic guitar blues and you'll have a real hit on your hands! I loved it! But then I love the blues too! Good job!


  • Sylvyrwyng gold member
    February 4, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting, melancholy for sure, and quite frankly depressing... great job! I like it ALOT! One thing on this piece though... if you are going to use punctuation in a piece, use it all the way through and include periods and such as well.

    YOu have a masterpiece here, so tighten it up and bring it out to shine!


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    February 4, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful
    Rendering moments in chorded notes that pen those feelings so well and blend harmony with sadness
    I really enjoyed reading this wonderful poem
    Good luck to you
    Best wishes Julie


  • Trueheartforlife
    February 3, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Being completely honest, it was a bit cliched and thus not able to be powerful. You have the foundations for a great poem just try to be more inventive with your words. Good job though and best of luck in your writing future.


  • hotchocolate gold member
    February 3, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    A wonderful written piece here! Thank you for giving me the pleasure reading. I enjoyed this one from you hon

1 - 7 of 7