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love story

 

i.
she was the healer that my love was looking for

Debuting on my heart's stage and stealing the show,
she took my breath away. [but i don't mind her stealing from me]
Our hands enveloped in each other like strong ionic bonds,
allowing nothing to get us down.

She is my every season and how she made me so new
paralyzes me in mid-thought.

This is something only dreams are made of.


 

ii.
A lifetime of mistakes, a world of bad choices

but when I'm with him they melt away.

Deleting the errors systematically, loving me for who I am inside not for who I am outside. Defining our life with music and redefining the normal, we've become a rock, our Love for each other Solid and Strong.

We hold each other close, never letting go

as the troubles of the world swarm around us.

A love so pure will never be found again.

 

iii.
Written on honesty and sealed with a kiss, I will cherish her and love her forever and ever, until time collapses and ceases to exist.

Days feel empty when she's not by my side. So when I get to see her pretty face, I feel so alive. With ivory skin and a beautiful smile, I know that we will be bound to each other by gold one day.

and a love like this comes once in a lifetime.


 

iv.
The world would surely stop rotating on it's axis if the flame of our eternal love was ever to be extinguished.

Magical evenings spent together, dancing underneath the stars
Love's duet being played in a Concerto for two.
The music will play on forever, our love's melody never ending.

Tonight it's just me and you, beneath the starry sky.

 

 

v.
Speaking in silence and in quiet eyes, I know what she's thinking.
Tonight, the stars speak, like a chorus about to be sung.
They all know me because I am in love with one of their own.

And this is more than adolescent infatuation. This is a deep connection
to another person's body and soul, wanting to know everything about them.

She is my constant, the vine growing up and down every side of my tree of life.
Because of her, I know I can make it.

and quitting isn't an option anymore.


 

vi.
It's the love of the century, a love that will last a lifetime. The Roses of our love will never fade, they'll stand bright and beautiful for as long as the Heavens exist.

Love never gives up, and neither will I, because I have this love. It keeps me going when I am weak, when I can not go on any longer. He is the root of my existence, the very reason I am still here.
Without him, I'd surely wither like a fading flower.

And his love will carry me through life.


~ She speaks to me through my bones
        and I hear her. ~


~ He beckons me
        and I run to him. ~

 

Author notes

This was written by my girlfriend and me

White words = her speaking
Blue words = me speaking

"Don't Forget To Breathe"

Option - 3: love poems. give me all you've got, hit me with your best shot.

Option 3.
Give me your best. Make me cry, make me laugh. It's gotta be frickin amazing though.

In a list

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 33 of 33
  • A most beautiful collaboration of what true love speaks from heart, thank you for your entry, and good luck in my contest, Josie

  • very beautiful, thank you for entering and good luck!


  • Fallen-Muse
    June 18

    Edit | Reply

    ...

    That was very unique but I kind of lost myself somewhere in the middle. Much, much too long for me but good luck in your other contests. ADD really sucks but thank you for your entry.

  • judges verdict

    this was beautifully written. its nice how the both of you wrote it.
    thank you for your entry and good luck in my contest!


  • Antebellum
    March 26
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful.
    love how you and your girlfriend both wrote it.

  • ok now i am totally feeling this. cuz it reminds me of my fiancee and how we are. :] i love this! thanks for the entry and good luck.

  • Wow, this is love in all its flared colors...thanks for your entry and good luck in my contest


  • Xx.Toxic.xX
    February 28
    Edit | Reply
    HOLY CRAP! this i amazing. i love it. it completely blew me away. breathtaking.


  • movedon
    February 22

    Edit | Reply
    in your AN, isn't it correct grammar to say, "This was written by my girlfriend and me?" jw.

    anwaysy, i still have the "prose" (oooo see i remembered what it was!!) but i really liked this. and the conversations of both them talking. genius


  • londiscarpenter
    February 19
    Edit | Reply

    re-evaluate

    I don't often do this but since you weren't happy with me just saying I didn't like your poem, I will point out why as well as point out things I liked. t just isn't well written it reads like a first draft and is too juvenile. I love the first line--it rocks and offers promise of greatness to come AND THEN IT SLOWLY FALLS APART. I don't like cliches in poetry, and there are several i.e. "quitting isn't an option or :just me and you." Verse V line 3 is awesome, shoeing once again that you have talent that far exceeds what you have presented in the rest of the poem. "a love so pure will never be found again is a hyperbolized glittering generality that no one believes because it is unsupportable, although could work if worded more poetically. The rules made it clear that rhyming was a requirement and this rule was completely ignored. Why did you bother putting it in this contest when there are so many others, and why did you not at least make an attempt to read it once aloud so you could hear it. I,m sorry, but for me mediocrity is not an art form. Don't stop writing; just do it better. The talent is obviously there but you only start with what your muse hands you. After that, the hard work of editing happens. I hope this helps and it can if you don't let your emotions blind you to reality.

  • londiscarpenter
    February 19

    Edit | Reply

    HORRID

    Sorry this did nothing for me. I found th blue font on black very distracting and the writing much too arcade. It is a poem that could work with a lot of editing.


    • lowercase prelude gold member
      February 19
      Edit | Reply
      Well just because this didn't do anything for you doesn't make this "horrid".

      And if you could actually pay attention, you would see that this was a collaboration piece. The text is white was written by my girlfriend who isn't as an advanced as a writer as I am, but she's at least trying.

      Your comments are critiques, they are personal attacks. And those are unnecessary.


    • Scyphon
      February 19
      Edit | Reply
      Other than being just bland, you have done nothing more than disrespect as well. you gave no advice on how you would better edit the poem to make it work other than the, blue on black. Not very helpful commentary.


  • Shannon62875
    February 19

    Edit | Reply

    UMMMMMM

    I COULDNT EVEN GO NO FARTHER THAN THE 8TH LINE... I SAID IT MUST FUCKING RHYME AND OBVIOUSLY YOU COULDNT GET THE DAMN CLUE... SO NEXT TIME YOU BETTER READ THE DAMN RULES........................


    Shannon*Leah

    • Scyphon
      February 19
      Edit | Reply
      You could have been simple and removed his poem and messaged him saying it didnt follow the rules, lashing at out him in this manor is just uncalled for and disrespectful.

    • lowercase prelude gold member
      February 19
      Edit | Reply
      If you're going to be so rude, no one's going to enter your damn contest bitch.

      First off, I don't need your trophy. I have plenty. And you only wish you could write as good as me.

      Talk to me with respect or I will make sure that no one enters your contest.


  • fatality-rhymed77
    February 12

    Edit | Reply
    I liked the story in here and it was very clever to have two points of view. It was very fun to read. Thank you for sharing!


  • ChemicalArtemis
    February 10

    Edit | Reply
    Maybe it's me or it's the fact i am a weirdo but I honestly believe this could be a song. A very beautiful song.
    Wow this is amazing.
    You and your girl are amazing.
    Thank You for Entering.

    Suzann


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    February 5

    Edit | Reply

    Simply Beautiful!

    WOW! This is truly awesome and so heartfelt!
    I loved every line in this poem of yours. You two did a wonderful job putting this one together. If only a love like that truly existed and it was a part of us all. The world would be a much happier and beautiful place to live in. It's words like these that make a relationship blossom for years to come. I wish you both a lifetime of love and tranquility together. May your hearts remain filled with one another's affections!

    Thank you very much for sharing this beautiful collaboration here. I wish you all the best in this contest and take care!




    Jeremy0826


  • Candy Morphine
    February 3

    Edit | Reply

    Debuting on my heart's stage and stealing the show
    -Why do you have to be so outrageously good? Must everything you write be penned in such talent?


    This combination of writers is an excellent mixture of styles, and it makes for a beautiful and interesting poem.

    i enjoyed this highly.

  • tjmusepal
    February 3

    Edit | Reply

    A TRUTHFUL PHILOSOPHICAL MEMOIR

    LOVE TRUE LOVE LOOOOVE IN ITS LICHEN FORM IN ITS PRE AGAPE E THE THRESHOLD
    INSEPARABLE FLESH AND SPIRIT.
    THEY ARE ONE IN WHOM REST AND FULFILMENT RESTS -TJMUSEPAL 4:20AM
    THIS LOVE MEMOIR IS CONFESSIONALLY A SHORT AND SHARP MEMOIR
    TJMUSEPA


  • BehindTheShadow
    February 3
    Edit | Reply
    Great collab, amazing bond that I hope only grows stronger.


  • Life is a Beach gold member
    February 3
    Edit | Reply
    Very precious and romantic. You guys did a good job. May your love last an eternity!


  • caitlinlea
    February 3
    Edit | Reply

    Sweet

    I think this is really sweet, and the way it is written is original. Very beautiful. =-D


  • HereComesTheSun
    February 3

    Edit | Reply

    dang amazing

    this was really really good it almost felt fairytale like which was cool but when you did " [but i don't mind her stealing from me]" that was even cooler bringing back to reality and giving the hint love really does exist awesome work :]


  • simplefarmgirl
    February 3
    Edit | Reply
    Whoa! Some major talent and passion in this relationship! Beautiful write. So worth reading. :-)


  • penman gold member
    February 3
    Edit | Reply

    Wow,

    Amazing collab. So very loving and romantic. Best of luck in the contest.


  • heavenbird
    February 3
    Edit | Reply
    This is incredible.

    I wish you two the very very best. <3 :]

1 - 33 of 33