Bill the bull owned a magical bell
Which he hung from his neck for a spell,
Though he thought he looked proud
All the ladies were cowed;
This bull then shrank into his shell.
He became a pathetic recluse
While his bell failed to chime from misuse,
The grass, once so sweet
Now grew rank 'neath his feet,
He descended to substance abuse:
And would bore passing bovines with tales
Of his glorious past in The Dales,
Where the butter was yellow
And the cream, rich and mellow
Plus some jokes which were only for males.
So the herds which had once come around
And danced to the bell's merry sound
Now furtively flew,
To pastures quite new
Leaving Bill all alone on his mound.
Oh what a let down for poor Bill,
He stood like some fool on the hill
With his tail drooping down
And a sad puzzled frown -
Well, he might have been standing there still:
But I don't want this tale to depress
Or to cause the peruser distress,
As Bill raised his eyes
He received a surprise
A twinkling fairy, no less.
"I hear you're unwell," said the sprite,
"And I'm here to put everything right!"
So her wand then she waved,
Shouted Bill, "I've been saved!"
As his hide changed from dappled, to white.
His old bell became charmed, and did chime
While herds of cute cows came to mime
Pretty paeans of love,
To this god from above,
Snowy William, a bull in his prime!
A contest entry
- BELLS by Vera Rich.
1180 points, ended February 6, 2009, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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This was an absolute delight to read and I'm so glad that Bill was a happy bull by the end.
Congratulations on the gold, it was a very well deserved win.
Sue
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Wonderful
Oh my poor Bill. Most enjoyable read. This takes a lot tallent to pull off. You did it, masterfully.
Congrad's on the well deserved gold.
Joe
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What a romp!
Congrats on a well deserved award.
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Apart from the slight problem with line 20 (where the rhythm makes me want to say "twink-er-ling"), and where perhaps you could substitute a trisyllabic adjective,
PLEASE DO NOT REVISE THIS. I
t is so SPLENDID that I am raising the points for first place to 1000. -
Back again ...
I read this aloud to my friend also and it worked for me as well as her. Once you know the poem it's easy to pick up the rhythm even though it has a bump here or there. The content is enough to leave a 'fun impression'. Nice going! j y -
A fun poem ...
full of imagination and imagery! The title drew me in to read it and I had to smile at some good lines. I noted that the line "Oh what a downfall for poor Bill," might use some tweaking for meter .
All in all - a fun read! j
y
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This made me laugh. You're very good at the limerick style and this is no exception, apart from one line "Bill the bull then shrank into his shell", which I think doesn't quite adhere to the rhythmic and metrical requirements of the form. A minor flaw which is easily fixed, methinks.
Good stuff,
Bill
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So glad this has a happy ending Keith - I was getting quite tearful! I need to speak to that fairy..... This was sweet - good luck with the contest x Debs
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