She walked by my side
trying to clasp my hand,
I was dreaming wide
with a lonesome land.
Where she could not follow
or call me through the night –
my heart is now hollow
and whiteness on my sight…
A man with a smile on his lips
and a old guitar on his back
gave me life’s wicked tips:
Love is better when love lacks,
you better follow alone his track
enclosed by scattered lilacs…
A contest entry
- Make me laugh, cry, curl up in the fetal position... by A Poet Named Kyoto.
700 points, ended February 16, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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The first 12 lines are masterful. So beautiful, with great flow and your rhyme did not seem forced at all. However, I feel the last two lines really hurt it. Great write though.
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Yes, you are correct... I was with Leonard Cohen (canadian poet/musician)on my mind and the only word I had was lilac, but I think I will find a proper ending for this... maybe after listening more music...
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