She kissed me with her eyes just yesterday
And made a promise with her fingertips,
Those emerald eyes that held me in their sway,
Did they assure the vow upon her lips?
This bloom intoxicates the air I breathe,
I cannot sleep, and pace the silent stone,
My land and property I would bequeath
If she would give her love to me alone.
This rose I must not pluck, for it is said
The king desires to take her for his own,
This virgin flower will share the marriage bed,
To birth the heir apparent for the throne.
But in the dance tonight, for one last time,
When fingers touch, I'll dream that she is mine.
Author notes
M A S T E R B L A S T E R
A contest entry
- Rose Sonnet by piccola.
900 points, ended February 11, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gold rhymed poems only. by ecrivain01.
550 points, ended February 11, 43 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sonnets Only by Cupcrazy.
1000 points, ended April 8, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Shakespearean Sonnet Competition: "PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN" WORK ONLY. by Vera Rich.
490 points, ended June 15, 51 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Can You Win More Than Once? by MJ Forgives.
1218 points, ended November 12, 224 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My first Contest by TecumsehRoz.
700 points, ended November 6, 85 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything goes by lovlilmystery.
700 points, ended November 9, 67 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite contest by Blue-Rose Beauty.
600 points, ended November 10, 52 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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She kissed me with her eyes just yesterday
Gosh.. I was intrigued with the first line'
(I haven't even read the rest yet. One sec.
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Just.. beautiful.
Great job.
Thanks for entering
- Blue
beaut
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- blue beauty
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Lovely poem. Loved the way it flowed and rhymed. Good luck in the contest. Take care and have a great day.
Sandi -
Lovely
This is what I was looking for! Astounding imagery and a good flow to it. Detailed, but not endlessly wordy. You definitely get brownie points for the Rose reference I loved it. Best of luck to you.
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Wow that is a really good poem. I really love your poem. I enjoyed reading it. It made my heart skip a beat while I was reading this.
I hope you do wonderful in my contest and thanks for entering too. Love and Peace!
-Jess
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Very well written. Roses are produce so much depth in a write and you captured it well.
She kissed me with her eyes just yesterday
And made a promise with her fingertips,
Those emerald eyes that held me in their sway,
Did they assure the vow upon her lips?
I love these four lines. They are beautiful. Lovely, thanks for entering and best of luck in the contest.
Leance L
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Well put-together. I see it has an impressive row of trophies already.
Surprisingly, it reminds me of Walter Scott's "Bride of Lammermoor", which itself was based on a historical event. With dynastic marriages and strict delineation of class in the past, there must be hundreds of such stories!
What I like about this is the way that we are left wondering if the love and the promises are not all in the mind of the swain.
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congradulations on all he shiny trophies
this is atunning, I am captivated by the quality of this write, I have no words for you have said it all,
She kissed me with her eyes just yesterday
And made a promise with her fingertips,
Those emerald eyes that held me in their sway,
Did they assure the vow upon her lips?
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An interesting theme - reminiscent of Wyatt's "Noli me tangere" sonnet on Anne Boleyn. And the form is well-handled. (I apologize for the delay in judging this competition... since it closed I have been repeatedly porlocked. Please be patient.),
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aside: I get porlocked a lot myself!
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This was amazing
I truly enjoyed reading your write
best of luck to you
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Very Eloquent! Thank you for your entry!
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aww it was all romanticy and stuff i love it,thnx for entering
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94
Title: 9/10
Originality: 10/10
Emotion: 9/10
Grammar/Spelling: 10/10
Flow/Structure: 10/10
Imagery: 9/10
Overall Use of Poetic Devices: 9/10
Reaction: 9/10
Rules: 10/10
Overall: 9/10
Totaling: 94/100
Wow, this was really good. I liked the flow of this and I liked how easy it reads. Your metaphors used were really good. I think this could use elaboration but even without it holds an impact. Such words used, such a heartfelt write. Great job on this and good luck in the contest.
Josh
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brillaint poem, amazingly done, is the title implying the city ?
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Romantic victorian imagery. Well written. Blessings.
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Oh wow that was so victorian in nature and so seductive. To want something the ruler wanted is kinda a naughty little thing. Reminded me of the story of King Author. It really was something special.
The Positives:
Great imagery!! I loved the sweet senual feel that this has.
The Negatives:
Nothing I love this poem!!
My Favorite Part:
If she would give her love to me alone.
This rose I must not pluck, for it is said
The king desires to take her for his own,
This virgin flower will share the marriage bed,
To birth the heir apparent for the throne.
But in the dance tonight, for one last time,
When fingers touch, I'll dream that she is mine.
This was amazing i really am blown away!
Overall:
I give this an10 /10 you did great. I hope to see you in my future contests thanks so much for entering. I am adding you to the finalist list.
~*~Apathetic Poison~*~ -
Beautiful, sad, full of imagery, depth and emotion.
What a wonderful poem, full of silent desires from both parties. I enjoyed reading this one so very much.
Thanks for entering and good luck in my contest.
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Wonderful piece here. I love the last line especially. This reminded me of a talk we had in my class today. I wasn't expecting a poem like this, but I am glad I read it. Excellent write and good luck in my contest.
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you are such a talented writer and you work at it too. Or maybe it's Maybeline LOL. No, I think you are talented and you apply effort because you take pride in your work. It's always an honor to see one of your writes in my contests. Humbling ...
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Ahh, unrequainted love. A lovely poem here. It read as a dance to me. The sway of the rhythm.
The flow was done well, syllable count was right on. They rhyme scheme was well developed and it had a nice rhythm.
I encouage you to keep writing to read and comment.
You have been chosen to proceed to the next round. Once the next round contest is up you will receive a link to that contest.
God Bless
Tammy -
A stunning example of the sonnet form - content, tone, metre and rhyme are all spot on. A beautiful poem.
Bill
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Beautiful write Di, I simply love this. It is perfect in just about every way. Wonderful imagery.
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Sonnets were just made for love poems and this is the perfect example of it. I commented on this poem before but when I saw it in this contest I just had to read it again.
Love,
Amera♥ -
What a wonderful poem! "She kissed me with her eyes just yesterday/And made a promise with her fingertips"How that conveys the sense of a secret almost unspoken vow. How wonderful to make her eyes emerald! I love the phrase "pace the silent stone" It conveys the chilly loneliness of an empty castle.BRAVO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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This is so beautiful! "She kissed me with her eyes just yesterday/And made a promise with her fingertips" How wonderfully that conveys an intimate silence. How beautiful to make her eyes emerald! "and pace the silent stone" how well that conveys loneliness, and the chilly lack of comfort in a castle. What an extraordinary poem Bravo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I recognize the work and agree with amera ... you are one of the site's best sonneteers. (sp) thanks for giving me the pleasure of reading this.
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A delight to read out loud. Captivating from the first verse. Amera said you are the best. This would prove it. Greatly enjoyed. I re-read it. Made me want to cry for this fellow. How sad for him. Great, great, great!
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simply beautiful.
Good luck
Passions
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this is beautiful, it left me sighing and wanting more. I love that last line ... so romantic. Thank you for entering.
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beautiful, very skillfully written and stirs the heart.
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Well when I saw that one of the world’s best sonneteers was in a contest that I was asked to enter, I just had to come and see what I could have done to make my entry attempt to meet your standards. This is truly a classic and beautiful to recite. You have taken the prompt, thought out of the box and composed an original and captivating story in perfect rhyme and decasyllable. This poem holds the readers interest from beginning to end. You did a wonderful job with the Volta as the king sparks a new interest in the piece. Bravo!
Love,
Amera♥
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