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Last Chance

She hurts
She waits
This pain
She can't take

She bleeds
She lies
The truth
Is in her eyes

She wishes
She fights
Cries herself
To sleep at night

She prayed
She tried
Last night
The hope died

She knows
She plans
That blade
Is her last chance

She breaks
She dies
Took away
Her own life

He hates
He cries
Never even
Said goodbye

Author notes

e x p l a i n . e v e r y t h i n g
Kayla

Song - Headlights by The Classic Crime
http://www.lyricsdir.com/the-classic-crime-headlights-lyrics.html

A contest entry

What did you think?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 14 of 14
  • Awww so adorably, horribly sad. (XD anything like the incredible, edible egg? JK)
    I love the 5th stanza Ty for this


  • Heva Feva
    July 3

    Edit | Reply
    "He hates
    He cries
    Never even
    Said goodbye”

    These are my favourite lines! Thanks for entering my contest and good luck.
    -heva♫


  • Ami
    June 27

    Edit | Reply
    wow this is fucking amazing Great write and thank you so much for entering my contest Good luck -♥Amy♥

  • In the end, suicide is the worst pain, even if you don't feel it. Thanks for the entry, it was very well written and indeed, flowed extremely well. Truthfully I would rather feel pain then nothing at all, life is so precious.

  • The short lines flow really well together.

    Great job on this, and thanks for the read!

  • Ahhh suicide. Not one of my favorite type of writes. Although you did write this very well and you do have grief in it. Thanks for sharing this with us. And thanks for entering it into this contest.

  • hmm short lines that really flowed well togther.



    The Positives:
    Loved the short lines and you really put a lot of emotion into this it was amazing


    Room For Improvement:
    Nothing I can see you did wonderful



    My Favorite Part:
    She prayed
    She tried
    Last night
    The hope died

    She knows
    She plans
    That blade
    Is her last chance

    that was so great!
    Overall:

    I give this an 8/10 you did great. I hope to see you in my future contests thanks so much for entering.

    ~*~Apathetic Poison~*~


  • Lonesome Dove
    April 21

    Edit | Reply
    Powerful emotion in so few words. The flow and pace is excellent.

  • awesome work with this poem I loved the short verses. Excellent work. You've got a 20 for this poem bringing your total to a 66. Great work. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you. kahy


  • Riftkin gold member
    April 16

    Edit | Reply
    Best of luck in my contest..
    This is just the first time looking at all
    the poems in my contest .. please do not respond.

    Riftkin

  • i liked the speed of this write and how well you did with this piece in just keeping it blunt to the point and yet full of emotion

    thanks for entering


  • tarcus
    April 8
    Edit | Reply
    Plain simple and true.


  • AngelsExodus
    February 4

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, breathtaking and beautiful.
    The periods at the end of each line kinda throw me off tho.
    Pretty good, keep writing.

  • me-666-23
    February 3
    Edit | Reply
    omg i love this poem!!!!
    in a way i can relate
    post on my poem please

1 - 14 of 14