I close my eyes

Tired of the pain you caused
but in my head i can't get rid of it
tired of the mess it made
but in my life...there's so much of it
everytime you touched me
everytime you made me touch you
it slowly was killing me
I close my eyes
and i relive it everyday
your wondering hands rub up and down my body
i cringe and wince as you shoved your fingers into me
i remember praying everytime
but where was god to save me?
I close my eyes
and I can still see that disgusting grin on your face
Oh how you loved to be in control of me
picking me up and shoving me
placing me however you wanted
posing me like the girls in your magazines
I WAS NINE!
how could you do this?
why would you do this?
I was never able to understand
i close my eyes
and I can still feel your molesting lips all over me
your tongue moving in my mouth
the pain as you shoved your dick to the back of my throat
pushing so hard, gagging me as tears streamed down my face
I close my eyes
and can hear you telling me that my mother was jelous of me
that  she hated me!
you made me feel alone..
in a house full of people
you made me feel rejected
by the people who loved me
as if your attacks weren't enough
you twisted and warped my brain with your lies
you said you loved me like a daughter
but how could you do this to family?