You took my hand
Bent my ear
Whispered sweet lies
I began to believe
To see the world
Through the eyes you gave me
So many sleepless nights
Hiding deep within your shadow
Trying to fool myself
To believe it's no colder
No darker
Then any other
Your my guardian angel
With wings dipped in blood
And a sword in my side
Nothing left to do
But march off to war
You smile and say farewell
Bid your timely retreat
From those lofty heights
I wonder how this must seem
As the walls are breached
And the city put to torch
Some days it feels like
I have nowhere left to stand
Been beaten back from every field
And every mountain pass
I've started to wonder
If there is anything left of me
To stay and defend
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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"Bent my ear"--did she literally bend your ear, or bend to your ear? It's unclear which you mean, because it sounds as if you're trying to say she bent to your ear.
line 13: "your" is "you're"
I feel it would be easier to read if you put in punctuation where it's supposed to be.
The image of a guardian angel contradicts the insincere, dark person you depicted in the lines above, although that's just my opinion.
I hope this helps. -
wings dipped in blood, wow, i love that line, the whole poem shows lots of imagery throughout,
and the flow was very easy
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Youve created great imagery with this, and it was quite an easy read, which i like.
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