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Flicker Flame Fire Blaze

How I long to dance across those growling embers,
in the grand atrium of brilliant flame.
How I long to sink my soles solidly into deep gold fire-chunks,
to taste the searing woodsmoke rushing in through my pores.
My body’s rhythm synchronizes to each crack and pop of heat.
All my world becomes a kaleidoscope of dazzling blaze.

In chaos, in energy, in ferocity, in beauty -
that is where
I am freely alive.

Author notes

I'm unsatisfied with this.

A contest entry

Please read and comment.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • Antebellum
    July 5

    Edit | Reply
    i really like where this is going...but it seems like theres something missing.
    I dont quite know what though.
    thanks for entering && Good luck


  • nOva-
    February 14

    Edit | Reply
    Unsatisfied? Hmm. . .it isnt a bad piece, but it seems abit lacking in direction. Just my thoughts. You gotta fill the spaces in, then youve got yourself a good solid piece worth your satisfaction this piece does have a sort of movemnt to it though, life, that not all poems have. Alot of em are lifeless and you just wanna getin there and shake em up! But this one has movement, boldness, soul, energy. Thats the strength in this poem. Consider revising, and with all those contests up there, you should have some shiny trophies coming your way hope you like long comments?

    ~nva


  • jayyniecakes.
    February 13
    Edit | Reply
    too short...


  • Kathraina silver member
    February 8
    Edit | Reply

    Judged-ola!

    Oooh great piece! Great imagery and flow. Bravo!