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Dark Alleyway

"I love you"
he said to me
before he walked out the door in the pouring rain

I touched his face, and kissed him just once more
because he meant the world to me.

He touched my face back, and whispered
"Your the most wonderful guy, I could ever ask for!"
And I smiled,
he always likes to watch me blush.
I heard his sweet giggle one last time...

I sat in bed, and thought of forever with him
Standing next to him for the rest of my life
Holding him close every night
and hearing "I love you" forever..

The clock went off, at 7am, like it always did.
I got up, the rain pouring down
a gloomy day.

I started off to work,
I called his phone one last time
this must have the twentieth, and then I heard his voice
"It's me leave a message"
So I did

I walked a little further
almost to work now
when I saw the lights

The red and blue
All the bystanders staring in
At that moment, when I was walking near the scene
Time, suddenly and furiously stopped.
Like a watch and the batteries suddenly
died.

I saw a hand, with a ring fairly familiar
I saw eyes, that were his same shade of green
they were the same
they were his.

I dropped to my knees
tears filled my eyes,
the love of my life
covered in blood,
and paint.

"FAG" written across his naked body
legs twisted
throat slit

The man of my dreams
gone
My husband to be
just next week
gone in flash.

I held him for hours
the man of my dreams
in that
Dark Alleyway......

Author notes

~ S e r e n i t y - W o r d s

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, Is just to love, And be loved in return."
~Moulin Rouge


I have many gay friends, and none of them have been killed in a hate crime. But I always want to see things from other peoples perceptions. And I can't imagine losing the one I love, and that goes the same for anyone.
Gay, straight, bisexual,
love knows no gender
A modern day story of the killing of gays, just for loving who they fell in love with. And the ignorance of the people who don't agree.

A contest entry

I hope it's good? What do you think?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 33 of 33

  • Beautiful-N-Broken gold member
    November 2

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my goodness. This is such a sad, compelling story of love and hate all mixed into one. You did a great job speaking out against this even if you weren't trying to.. Keep up the great writing!


  • Paloszoo gold member
    June 28

    Edit | Reply
    Powerful and poignant write. Addresses a serious and tragic societal problem in today's society. Well written, though yes, a tad cliche. Thanks for entering my contest and showing your work here. It's an honor to read it


  • Cyanide Dreams
    June 24

    Edit | Reply
    Third Stanza, last line, "heard" dearie.

    So, this contradicts a poem that I just got done writing. I'm gay, and I really felt these words ring and I want to see any mo'fo' around do that, I'll burn a cigarette through their pupil Look at me get out of hand. Now, to the poem.

    *gets ready to have rocks thrown at him*

    I wasn't all that moved by this piece. Yes, your emotions are strong and enough to get the reader to sit in awe for a moment or two. They get the job done of how you want the reader to feel, but, I felt this to be horribly cliche. Your imagery, could have been so much better. The images I saw, however vivid, it didn't really incorporate the emotions in this piece to the images. It was structured well, seemingly flowing off the tongue. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.

    *is now hated by everyone that loves this poem*
    josh


    • Serenity-words
      June 24
      Edit | Reply
      Trust me, I do not stray away from harsh criticism I welcome it.
      I see you points, and yes they do make since. And to my readers who did enjoy this poem, I hope they do not give you too much trouble, for this is my first criticism of this poem.

      I love how you were real with me, like the pictures didn't stop you. You broke through and gave an honest opinion. I appreciate it.

      Thank you,

      ~Serenity


  • CentrifugalCorpse
    June 11

    Edit | Reply
    Well-penned.
    I liked how you built romance and happiness at the beginning to bring about a horrid twist close to the end. I definitely felt this one.

    Thanks for sharing and good luck!


  • Minstrel-Morose
    May 27

    Edit | Reply

    Congratz! Your a FINALIST

    This made me pout for like an hour.
    Truly shows the danger of an ignorant opinion.
    The thing that amazes me the most really was the way it felt to read this. It was like, the blunt way you worded things to mean exactly what it says with a tiny twist of clinical depression (the poem, not you) gave the whole poem a scary foreshadow. Yet still, the death was as shocking to the reader as it was to the man.
    This is very good. Congratz again

  • Xxpoison.kissesxX silver member
    May 7
    Edit | Reply
    Wow! sad! very nicely expressed

  • abmsem
    April 27

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is amazing. You make it seem so real and the message is so powerful and touching. It was truly heart wrenching to read, well done for capturing the emotion so well here! Thank you for your entry and good luck


  • SpeakLove93
    April 23

    Edit | Reply

    Thoughtful

    I absolutely love this piece. This is a topic that needs to be spoken for because it does happen. I love all the emotion in this piece. The love and the pain. I can't even imagine losing the one I love. So painful. And for a reason such as this... just awful. But this is an amazing piece. Thank you for entering!


  • Amera gold member
    March 28

    Edit | Reply
    I found this poem intriguing. I don’t think I have ever read a gay love poem before and certainly one that is so sad. I will never understand hate crimes and what could possibly motivate them. I think you did a wonderful job composing this poem and as contest judge the only error I see is in L20 where you used the wrong word; “herd” is a group of animals. I believe you meant “heard”.

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • Forgotten Anomaly
    March 24

    Edit | Reply
    I just can't understand people and the things they do. This is a wonderful poem, a very sad one, but still a wonderful peice. That would be a horrific thing to go through and I can't understand why people would do things like that in the first place. At least its not a true poem for you or any of your friends.


    • SaraTalon
      April 3
      Edit | Reply
      People can be so horrid, and this poem shows that. I think this is the absolute best of Serenity's poems. No matter how many of her writes I read, I still keep coming back to this one.


  • Reanna Eryn
    March 23
    Edit | Reply
    Like a watch and the batteries suddenly
    died; beautiful line!


  • Aelten
    March 19

    Edit | Reply
    Such a powerful piece. It actually hurt to read it. Just rips at my heart.
    "I held him for hours
    the man of my dreams
    in that
    Dark Alleyway."
    Thanks for sharing this...
    Khia


  • LovelyLauren
    March 16

    Edit | Reply
    wow, I really don't like you right now for making me cry this way. You have brought back some pretty bad memories for me, but this is exactly what I have been looking for in this contest, and I am glad you entered it.

    Lauren


  • jayyniecakes.
    February 23
    Edit | Reply
    aww... ;[


  • poet360
    February 16

    Edit | Reply
    this is so sad! your poem made me mad at these people who do stuff like this. it's horrible to think that this kind of thing actually happens.
    great write!

  • S-j
    February 15
    Edit | Reply

    very touching, brought goose pimples to my skin, a great piece penned here and unfortunatly in this day n age also so true


  • breathoffire
    February 13
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. awesome imagery and a very powerful message.


  • Pingwen
    February 12
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this has such a powerful message. It reminded me of Matthew Shepard, in a way. Very good.


  • Heroesrox
    February 12
    Edit | Reply
    Dear, you know I love this piece!


  • KyleBerg gold member
    February 10

    Edit | Reply
    Heart-breaking...
    Brought me almost to tears.. I can't believe that these sort of things actually happen.. it's just.. there's no word for it.

    Powerful words and gripping story.
    Congrats on the well-deserved gold


  • TheSpiralGenerator
    February 9
    Edit | Reply
    This poem makes me want to hate the people who commit hate crimes even more. While I'm pansexual and have a boyfriend, and don't have hate problems... I do get discriminated for liking both sexes, and it's just stupid. I think people should just worry about themselves and not others.

    A very strong poem. Good luck in all of those contests.

    -Sadien

  • BlackenedWhiteRose
    February 5
    Edit | Reply

    oh my god....

    this is an incredible write....soooooooooo filled with passion and unbelievably sad..... it was heart-wrenching and i loved it... and your views in your AN are true for me as well (although i am gay) so i understand it from this point of view....i think that's actually brilliant

  • Heroesrox
    February 4

    Edit | Reply
    OMG! I am gay and me and my fiancee are great for one another! (He's the best thing in my life!) And when I read this, I thought about it happening to him and I got so many emotions. I was pissed and sad at the same time. I would literally kill someone if this happened in my life, only because we are boys that like eachother. A stupid thing to hate someone for anyway....People are so dense and dumb sometimes and afraid of what they do not understand. Thanks so much for this powerful share. I really did love it. One of the best pieces that i have read in a good while! Thanks so much for this share!

    Best wishes!

    Mike


  • sanguigno
    February 3

    Edit | Reply
    im having so many chills right now. thank you so much for this write.

    thanks you so much for entering


    • SaraTalon
      February 5
      Edit | Reply
      It gave me chills too... Serenity is so amazing at portraying emotions but this is her best by far.


  • Angelo di Luce gold member
    February 3

    Edit | Reply
    A strong story teaching a lesson?
    Love has no bounds or shame depending how you use her
    It is only corrupt minds that make her ugly.
    Thank you for your entry

  • SaraTalon
    February 3

    Edit | Reply
    OMG! That hurt me to read.

    "'FAG' written across his naked body"
    My heart just tore in two when I read that. I can't imagine how I'd feel if this ever happened to any of my friends. I'm sitting in class trying hard not to cry.

    People just don't understand that love is still love, no matter the gender. Love is no different for us than it is for straight people.

    This is so touching and I give you an applause of three. & you of all people should know how rarely I give any applause.


  • sol-luna
    February 2

    Edit | Reply
    i really love this piece.

    and i agree with you, "love knows no gender"

    this struck me the most:
    "FAG" written across his naked body
    legs twisted
    throat slit

    The man of my dreams
    gone
    My husband to be
    just next week
    gone in flash.

1 - 33 of 33