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titania

when she appeared
calling out
like a moon,
i followed her
deep into
the blooms
of her evening

she smelled of mystery
and her eyes, filled with lore,
led me past my nightmares

i kissed her
knowing that
when I awoke
her warmth
would still
tempt







Author notes

http://enayla.deviantart.com/art/Spoiled-31721883
inspired this poem.

my team mates:
Fug-azi
Adsaige

(fantasy team)




peace to all ~flight

A contest entry

honesty

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments


  • Never Fall in Love
    February 13

    Edit | Reply
    I keep feeling that when you are writing, you are missing something, hiding something, even.

    There is so much more you can say, and I know it because of how incomplete this feels.

    I think you can do better, for sure. You just need to step it up.


  • Ryno
    February 12

    Edit | Reply
    I think that the images in this piece were deviced like your normal powerhouse visuals, but I just don't think there was enough to this piece.

    It was short, and short pieces are alright, as long as they leave an impression in their quick lives . . . But I didn't quite find enough / get enough from this piece for it to be cut off where it was . . . I needed more to really catch the whole strength this could have had.

    I think you are an extremely talented writer, but you just have more you could give.

    I really loved the images you did have though, it was an extremely refreshing take of the picture --

    thanks for the entry.


  • adsaige
    February 2
    Edit | Reply

    Good Luck, Girl!!!

    The rhyme in the first stanza is beautiful.

    My question, why nightmares? I do find that...perhaps...I think that you can use a better image here than nightmares, but that is your call.

    I think there were some very beautiful parts in this short write. I think the first stanza was the most amazing part of this poem...and you did the picture well.

    Good Luck.