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Years gone by.

Waves wash upon the sand,
It's caressing hand is hard to understand.
Long lone summer nights,
Stars sparkling like a child's delight.
Diving down into the black murky blue expanse,
Floating through the tranquil surface as if to be a dance.
Waves wash upon the sand,
It calls me to return as if a command.
Years have gone by,
Yet to return and lay under that shimmering summer sky.
Summer nights swimming in the black murky blue expanse,
It has a safe place in my mind as if a forbidden romance.

Author notes

This is a nostalagic look back at summer nights of swimming in the cool water.

Prompt: What do you miss? It's a simple prompt. You could miss a person, a place, something that was done for you once, an experience- in short, you could miss anything!
Special thanks for their generosity go out to:
piggyback
Amalthae
crazziladi

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • Tqop
    April 27
    Edit | Reply
    Great job! You've again taken my breath away. Bravo! Please publish your work.


  • adolescente
    February 17

    Edit | Reply
    "as if a forbidden romance..." very good. the imagery reminds me of the thrill of a summer romance and the memories of summer romances past.


  • new light
    February 12

    Edit | Reply
    dang it! i couldnt choose a favorite line, i was about to but then i kept reading more and more and i just couldnt choose! this is seems like such a nice memory... stunning write my dear


  • grammabuff
    February 11

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful images - so clear and many unexpected. One grammar note, in line 10 you want to use lie instead of lay. Yeah, I know, picky-picky-picky. A well crafted poem. Buff

  • Crumbled-remains
    February 9

    Edit | Reply
    interesting, it was very descriptive, :3 i liked it, it reminded me of laying on a beach as the waves come in at night and you are looking at that starry night sky, the cool sea breeze coming in, ^-^ well done. " It's caressing hand is hard to understand" that's a very good line for describing the waves.


    • untouched pages
      February 9
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you dear... You got it right on the dot with what i was trying to talk about!!


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    February 6

    Edit | Reply
    Ah..you are very creative while depicting the thoughts in a very artistic manner..very much impresive love it..thanks..


  • PsychoAnalysis
    February 6
    Edit | Reply
    You had great imagery here. I really likes this.


  • Wolf Run0
    February 5

    Edit | Reply

    Image-Tastic

    First- SPELL CHECK! Sorry. I'm a Spelling Nazi. But really- could you run it through the spell checker? The mistakes bugged me. I'm going to guess on these spellings- 'ceressing'-caressing, 'mirky'-murky, 'apon'-upon, 'forbiddin'- forbidden or forbidding. That bothered me.
    Oh, and my inner Grammar Nazi is demanding an audience: "Childs" in line four needs an apostrophe like so: "child's", because of the possesive nature.
    *phew*
    Now that I have that out-
    Your imagery in here is stunning. You've used adjectives that would normally never be used in conjunction and created an absolutely amazing picture with them. "Long lone summer nights, / Stars sparkling like a childs delight" is just SUCH the wonderful phrase. Use that imagination, because it's definitely working for you.
    Other than the spelling and grammar, the one thing that I could find was that I felt like you left out a few words to keep the meter and rhyming even. Not that it's a bad thing, I just felt like they were left out. The little words ("the," "it," "is," ect.)
    Thank you for the vivid entry into my contest, and best of luck! God Bless!
    -Vivian


    • untouched pages
      February 5
      Edit | Reply
      LOL I'll change it up.... I've always spelt the way the work sounds!... I find that most poets get caught up in the ""little"" words, and it drives me up the wall. THank you for your comment!! and the spelling is changed!


  • Emms17
    February 3
    Edit | Reply
    amazing simply amaxing I truly like thjis peice great job


  • yesikita
    February 3
    Edit | Reply
    i really liked this and the imagery was fantastic....makes me long for summer!


  • dwise10808
    February 2

    Edit | Reply
    I thought your poem was written very well. You have a gift for ryhming. Good luck in the contest. On line 6, did you mean for it to say 'through'?


    • untouched pages
      February 3
      Edit | Reply
      Yes you are right my dear... thank you for your comment and catching that little oops!!


  • TheSpiralGenerator
    February 2

    Edit | Reply
    Summer isn't my favourite anymore, but I do get where you are coming from with this poem. It's very beautiful. Good luck in the contest!

    Blessed Be,
    -Sadien

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    February 2

    Edit | Reply
    I think you did good with this I miss summer days that have long since past thanks for sharing good luck to you into the contest be well.

1 - 19 of 19