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Hot Rod Hellabaloo

Tooling round in my peddle car
A classic hot rod in the yard.
Feeling fine on a sunny day 
Pretending having fun at play.

Just me and my friend Ted E. Bear
Zooming sidewalks past lawn chairs.
Chassis burns with speeding flames
Until a cloudburst spilled the rain.

 

Author notes

second half;

 

Me and the Ted race for cover
Beneath a awning undiscovered.
Watching it pour in silent revelry
Until it's past spilling wet decree.

Sleepy sandman's calling our name
It's time for a snooze after the rain.
Our morning rips so fast it seems
Before our nap, just Bear and me.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Mr Id
    February 16

    Edit | Reply
    I prefer the first half to the second.

    I like the last line of the first half- the choice of language is very vivid and appropriate to a child. I think it signals the perils that come in the character's future, as they get older, too.


  • SEA angel gold member
    February 10

    Edit | Reply

    Cute

    I had a kodak moment with the powerful imagery packed poem you scripted here. Thank you as was delightful.

  • oldpoets
    February 10
    Edit | Reply
    Nice write. well written and very entertaining. This was a pleasure to read. You made my morning.


  • CookieZeal Greeters member
    February 6

    Edit | Reply
    Chassis burns with speeding flames
    Until a cloudburst spilled the rain.    <--- this is my fav!
    I like the edge of it.

    Sent you an IM regarding an oopsie.
    Briefly, you've covered the Hellabaloo. Great title for this!



    as from me...


  • Riftkin gold member
    February 5

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your entry.
    I enjoyed reading this.
    Best of luck to you with this.

    Riftkin


  • Tirrell
    February 3

    Edit | Reply
    Cute lines!
    I like the second half as well, but the first half I'd say has the best imagery. You can almost smell the rain, spilling from the charcoal grey clouds.

1 - 6 of 6