dipping and weaving,
king of the skies,
love of the watcher,
safe without disguise,
yet i too can be free
and soaring above the earth
is my own chance as well,
pinned down or rebirth
is untamed a quality
that can be transferred?
if so let me touch those feathers,
the talons of one such bird
clouds blur my vison
and pressure pulls me down,
he may be king of the skies
but i'll too wear a crown
A contest entry
- round one (for everyone) prewrite contest ENTER ENTER ENTER (AND YES THAT MEAN'S YOU too by serenity silvermoon.
927 points, ended February 16, 1509 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think?
Comments
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neato.
"clouds blur my vison
and pressure pulls me down,
he may be king of the skies
but i'll too wear a crown" Fancy fancy lady. loved it. you made me feel like a birdie.. idk how you jsut did lol.
just a thought, you might want to change the last line to something like "But I too, will shield a crown" idk it just looks cool.
just a thought
great write.
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thanks..i really appreciate your feedback, and your advice. i wanted the last line to say that i'll too have the freedom of the bird, so maybe i can change it to "But I too will bear a crown", cause im not sure about the word "shield" lol
thanks so much =D
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