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(B)lack

I

 

 

She made me feel old
with her wrinkle free skin
and new ideas shaded
in a citrus yellow.


She made my thoughts seem
a violet tinted black.

 

 

 

II

 

(B)lack as in a lack of light;
lack of colour; lack of life.
I hate blackness. It hides
my fingers from my eyes;
blackness lets my mind
wander into the furthest corner
of the room and sit quietly -
unseen.

 

(B)lack is a void where
youth is forgotten
and where I stand
as she plaits laughter
through her blonde hair.

 

 

 

III

 

Through aged eyes,
I watch her turn into me.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Dalaney gold member
    February 10

    Edit | Reply
    i.  is my favorite.  You do vignettes the way the are supposed to be done - thank God   I love reading you.  Laney


  • jazzcat gold member
    February 2

    Edit | Reply

    Not so dark...

    I like the age differences you paint here. Some say youth is wasted on the young, this made me feel like it's a battle, a secret battle to fend off the aging process. There's more to the scene that we might be missing...there's more color on the young side and what is it that makes her turn older?

    Your words are always well chosen and you embibe your work with a sense of life that others lack (myself included). I like this piece as it is, but as I read it and re-read it and re-read it I wanted a little more. Though there is black and you paint it so well, but is it really so dark?


  • righteousme
    February 2

    Edit | Reply
    She made me feel old
    with her wrinkle free skin
    and new ideas shaded
    in a citrus yellow. ...


    love the whole piece but the opening was what got me ... new ideas shaded in a citrus yellow ... i can see it in my head and taste it in my mouth ... great!!!!