No need now for glint of stars
or sweet nothings in my ears;
not the fluttering heartbeats
nor the sharp intake of breath
when you were near
convinced me of
my love for you.
The flame of realization
flared when I felt
irate with the raw wind
that chilled your cheeks,
spent my bus fare
on a cheap blue scarf
to shield you from
the feral wind,
then walked home
in a brutal blizzard
without flinching,
still smiling at your warmth.
A contest entry
- PIF: Looking For Love Poems. by TheSpiralGenerator.
750 points, ended February 3, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
-
aww this peom was so sweet and beautiful, do you know men like the one described in your poem give women a little hope that the right guy is out there,
thank you for sharing this amaising write
-
Such Perfect Poetry.
Love
Myra
-
the flow and simplicity of the words are awesome....
great emotions and expression
superb!!
Thanks for sharing
-
Nice work on this Tony...beautiful way with words in this. THANKS for posting!
-
A beautiful peom... and a story that is very familar to me.
-
Great poem, I really like how you described things in the first stanza. It is a sweet story told
-
yeah. this is beautiful, really about as flawless as a poem gets.
-
Hello camus! Now this write is refreshing. With the little details of this scenario you have manged to incorporate so much more. It is very sweet!
"No need now for glint of stars
or sweet nothings in my ears;
not the fluttering heartbeats
nor the sharp intake of breath
when you were near
convinced me of
my love for you:"
These lines make my heart melt! Hehe. These are absolutely beautiful and very vivid. I can picture this. The following lines, however, are the reality check which I so love because the simple things, the simple actions and cares, are the ones that truly matter! Lovely write♥!
-
very sweat piece i love it and keep up the great work..
-
The meter in the first line matched me right into this poem - beautifully done. You presented contrasts so well here, in temperature and in intimacy, and I finished the poem as the protagonist did, ' still smiling at your warmth'.
Best of luck in the contest.
-
Beautiful.
It was very simple, but it had a touch of sweetness.
Very nice. -
That sounds like a long scarf which kept you wam, It was all around. Nice work.
-
her cheeks make this so delicate...must be your touch that made it and to protect her from the feral wind and mmmmm sexy ending about the warmth of her.
-
aww its so cute... I love it. :]
so hopelessly romantic
x o x o jane -
I love this it is a really heart felt poem, takes me back to days when love was fresh and simple
nice write
-
Even a cynic of love such as myself can see the heart warming power of this poem. It's cute in a happy innocent sort of way haha. It's just loverly.
Good luck in the contest
-
i enjoyed the warmth within the feral winds
lovely write
-
aww how cute =3333
-
aw wow tony, this is so gorgeous, your love is always something to light me up! good luck in the contest. miss you
Stephanie ♥
p.s. only one thing wrong, which i think you know what it is
i really despise evilllnesss on the page, it ruins your beautiful writes 
haha, i'll behave
-
This gave me chills... the best possible kind in all the world. Absolutely beautiful. Short, but the imagery is so poignant, it was as if it was a memory from long ago, one that never blossomed in my mind til now. You captured the first whispers of love so elegantly, my friend. I'm so glad to see you are still picking up the pen.
Needless to say, I miss you a whole bloody lot. Serenade us once more, maestro.. Always a loyal friend, and fan,
~S.
xx
-
-
Thanks for your enthusiastic reception of my poem.
-
-
Lovely!
These are the parts I liked best: the word glint in glint of stars, the line "irate with the raw wind", that cheap blue scarf, and "to shield you from/the feral wind". I, myself, would search for a word as original as in your use of the word feral, to replace fierce.
-
I've done something like this before. A cute remider of what love does to us, this poem is. Thanks for entering and good luck!
Blessed Be,
-Sadien -
now that's love! What a chivalrous reminder of the little things love can make us all do.. Lovely work.
-
awww
this poem is so beautiful and
i loved the imagery! i can totally picture this scene -
I think i have to stay away from the site for two weeks ... everyone's writing love poems.
geez, valentines mght be contagious
*runs*
-
oh this was really sweet and so loving!! I love the imagery and the little story behind your words.. by the ending of reading this I had such a tender smile on my face! you really wrote something very touching.. thank you very much for sharing! best of luck in the contest!
Angel
Adding your comment:
1 - 27 of 27
