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Nothing to be found

She colored her world in black and white, a question with no answer
She listened to the speechles birds and watched the nighttimes dancer
She sought out the dove but only found a daunting angry raven
The misty eve has now become her cruel minds only haven
She felt the morns cruel empty stare as it bore into her eyes
She smelled the flowers chilling screams and the grasses aching cries
She watched the blackened sun die as it rose into the ground
After a lifetime of searching she finally learned that theres nothing to be found

Author notes

b o o k w r m 1 3 2 4

A contest entry

What did you think

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • RazorbladeKiss14
    September 13
    Edit | Reply
    Very good job! I loved it! Thank you for entering and good luck in my contest!


  • xochocoholicxo
    August 3

    Edit | Reply
    wow u r an amazing writer
    the emotions here
    r just so raw
    and absolutely beautiful
    i absolutely love it!!!!!!
    great write
    pen on save the world lol
    nice rhyming


  • silverscent gold member
    April 30

    Edit | Reply
    This is a poem to convert a lover of free verse into a lover of rhyme.
    Honestly,  I'm rarely impressed by rhyme because I admit I'm simply one of those cynics on here that think, I find rhyme hard to do so what's the point in reading it

    I adored your write.

    Rhythm and meter are spot on (well it seems to me anyway) and the descriptions were vivd enough to make me want to read it again.

    Thanks for sharing this and impressing me


  • Cyanide Dreams
    April 10
    Edit | Reply
    Amazing write. I enjoyed reading this. I think this could have used line breaks though. It would have made it flow more smoothly and it would have intensified the message. I really liked your use of personification in this piece. Your imagery is great as well. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.

    Josh


  • OnceUponAMind silver member
    April 3

    Edit | Reply
    Awsome write! Very descriptive with great visuals

    She felt the morns cruel empty stare as it bore into her eyes
    She smelled the flowers chilling screams and the grasses aching cries
    She watched the blackened sun die as it rose into the ground


  • T.o.r.t.u.r.e. gold member
    March 30
    Edit | Reply
    i love this poem. it has a nice flow and rhyme to it. thank you for entering and good luck in the contest


  • T.o.r.t.u.r.e. gold member
    March 28
    Edit | Reply
    • if you would please space your name out in your AN like this : X x D r o w n . M e . D r y X x . Just out a space between each of your letters. Please. If you chose not to thats fine but i would like you you give me a reason.

  • jenniferrforshey
    March 27

    Edit | Reply
    I do like it, the rhyming scheme was a plus. My favorite part was just about the whole poem it gave me a sene satisfaction as I was reading it. I can relate do to the rhyming scheme and the way the poem was set up cause its something similar to a poem that I would write. I wish that you could explain a little more on the 4 line cause that sent shivers up my spine I wish they was more or worded different in some way. I did have a small problem onthe 8 line just beucause I can't make my self understand a blackened sun. I just wish the poem could have been a little longer but I could read this poem all day no matter how long, thats the only way I could see it could improve, thats just my opinion.


  • T.o.r.t.u.r.e. gold member
    March 15
    Edit | Reply
    OH WOW !!! this poem is so pretty !! i love it ALOT. its amazing and the ryhmes you used were so unsusal when used together. There are rhymes in here that i didnt know you couls ryhme..

    "She colored her world in black and white, a question with no answer
    She listened to the speechles birds and watched the nighttimes dancer"

    those two lines are absolutely superb


  • Unknowing...
    March 5
    Edit | Reply
    this was very well written and puts specific pictures in a person's mind. i esp liked...
    "She watched the blackened sun die as it rose into the ground
    After a lifetime of searching she finally learned that theres nothing to be found"
    i got a very good mental image from that


  • ToxicSuicide
    February 21

    Edit | Reply
    First off, kudos to you for your rhyming. Not many people can do it effectivly but yours comes so naturally. It makes the poem flow and move and really come to life in my imagination. Second, the dark lonelyness at the end is amazing.
    "After a lifetime of searching she finally learned that theres nothing to be found"
    That's such a good line and it wraps up the poem perfectly. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck!
    ~ToxicSuicide.


  • Lady Juliet
    February 12

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, I very much was inspired from the truth of this piece. Very well written, and fantastic imagery.


  • untouched pages
    February 11

    Edit | Reply
    Intersting... I really enjoyed this penning... I found the imagery very vivid... Thank you for this penning!!

  • ScaryGothMother
    February 2

    Edit | Reply

    beautiful!

    i understand the feeling when you look for something that isn't there.
    i often want things that are out of reach, then i think it isnt fair.
    thank you for this lovely poem and good luck with all the rest

1 - 14 of 14