As I walk,
under the Cherry blossoms,
you pop into my mind agian,
leaving me breathless,
leaving me in my memories.
Once I held your hand
under these beautiful Cherry blossoms,
in the sun
in love.
Now, I walk alone,
in the rain
with no one to comment on the weather,
no one to hug and give sweet kisses.
I miss you,
This is where you first took my hand,
This is where you first kissed my cheek,
This is where you first kissed my lips,
This is where
we fell in love,
and this
is where it happened...
Where speeding heavy metal, and whiskey breath behind the wheel,
stole your kisses
your hand,
your lips
this is where I lost you.
A coincidence I must say
that the spot where I found you
is the spot where I lost you.
My love, I promise you this
I will never forget you,
your hand,
your lips
your voice
your eyes
all of you.
I will remember,
as I walk
Under the Cherry blossom trees.
Author notes
Serenity-words
I have never lost anyone to a drunk driver, but I couden't imagen losing the one I love, and this just inspired me, to cherish the ones I love, and never take them for granted.
- Do not judge me group list • next in list
A contest entry
- GIVE ME YOUR BEST by sanguigno.
1100 points, ended February 15, 79 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My Anniversary by Lady-Pegasus.
6000 points, ended March 29, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your best. by abmsem.
1000 points, ended April 27, 171 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I hope it's good? What do you think?
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
-
I like how the last line is so expected but fits in perfectly. You have a nice writing style. Thank you for entering and good luck
-
I really enjoyed reading this poem and the emotion that you instill in the reader. The use of epanaphora in S5 and 8 is a nice touch. As contest judge I only had a problem with L4 and 5, I wouldn’t call this epanaphora, I’d call it repetition of the same word. I don’t know. Perhaps you could have said “escaping my memories”
Love,
Amera♥
-
I really like this, its wonderfully writen and very touching. I've never loved anyone so I can not relate to even that concept but this still seemed to have a lot of emotion, especially since it was a fictional write. I love your petry.
-
I like the twist mid-way through, and that the tone does not drastically change here.
I'm a fan of the repetition, although a bit more rhythm would be appreciated in places; as it stands, you've got that dreamy/memory feel down, but it needs something to ground it a bit. -
-
What would you suggest, in the poem? Where does it seem that it need more rhythm to you?
-
-
it's awesome!
-
-
haha
Thanks for your comments on this poem, and Dark Alleyway...
-
-
The repetative reference to cherry blossoms made me think of walking in the park with my boyfriend- Although I know this is supposed to be a sad poem. I definitely agree with your author's notes. A great poem!
-
wow... i love it.
-
wow. your poem left me breathless. i can imagine how tragic it would be for anyone to experience this kind of sorrow. thanks for sharing and good luck.
-
OMG this made me cry
it was so sad but so sweet too and not like a you mourning but you cherishing what you had OMG 
you made me real emotional with this one
-
-
Well thanks
Thanks so much for taking the time to read! -
-
sure np, i was following the rules of the contest to comment on at least one more poem from the contest and im happy it was yours because it rocked
-
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 13 of 13
