as does the color deep meditation.
While under his gaze I'm heavy, yet free
condemned into his soft raging glances.
I feed off of our small lurking moments
that never linger a time long enough.
Sometimes I starve from his sweet salvation
that goes down so gentle, yet back up rough.
His skin excites me, with a dull yearning
that strongly grips supple fingers around.
With a tickling mistaken for burning
they ever lightly chock my subdued throat.
Their is this heat that rages from his heart,
so cold to the touch that my body burns
and with a racing heartbeat, slurred and slow,
my longing won't leave but always returns.
My dark shining gaze spies his tear filled eyes,
so mournful flood the deep folds of my mind,
While his shaking lips part with sleepy cries.
"I am useless. Oh, please just forgive me!"
Then with a single subtle sweeping stir,
we are cradled in each others soft limbs.
While breathing in his trembling sadness
my whole forgives him with romantic hymns.
Author notes
this illustrates the longing with two lovers, for the narrator how enough is not enough, how even though she already has all of her lover she still needs more in order to survive(he gives her life, he is like her angel). It's kind of like, she loves him so much she lives off of her moments together with him but because those moments don't feel like the are enough you die of them as well. Think of the song 'Eight days a week" by the Beatles: "eight days a week is not enough to show I care". Just like in that line of the song even forever would not be enough time to spend together. He apologies for not giving more of himself even when their is noting left to give. He is very disturbed by how even if they could spend forever together their would still not be enough time to truly enjoy and be with each other (and maybe he wants more of her too). The narrator forgives him because she knows she has all of him already and instead gives all her being too him so they can be like one being instead of two lovers. The first and second line in the last stanza describe how they have, non-literally- become one and the last two lines describe how she forgives him.
I just thought I would explain my poem. I have had poems taken off of contests because the host "does not get it" and how it "fits the prompt" so from now on I will be completely clear and explain myself when it comes to contests entries. So just in case someone does not have the insight to 'get it' i have it explained in clearly in black and white (see above).
A contest entry
- HEY! ENTER THIS CONTEST! PICK A NUMBER FOR A RESERVE!!! by Heroesrox.
1050 points, ended February 7, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
I'm one of those that do get things like this. I think that some fool who does not understand a POETIC piece of ART should not have contests....lol. A very beautiful piece with a couple of spelling errors, but all is forgiven...lol. Thanks so much for you entry! I loved it!


-
-
I think so as well. I actually got really mad when that person took my poem off. I wrote what the poem was about to her and was a little snidely-rude about it. Sorry by the way about the spelling errors, I had an appointment the day I finished writing this poem and could not proofread it adequately enough.
-
-
Okay, your prompt is: "I am completly useless and always mess up things. Please, forgive me." (Spoken by an angel....lol.)
-
Sorry, but the name shows up anonymized! COuld you send me a message with your AP name and chosen number? Thanks so much!


