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Vocal Capawera

I've lost so many times I almost feel I'm winning,
                                                              winning something.
      Who knows when or what when your stuck between a rock and a hard spot?
When the rocks fall down and your left with an upside down, frown, when your losing
                                                              but never lose yourself.
Who told you to give up the ghost, who is me?
  When all is stuck in circles and your left, free?

You've no place left to drop tears on or in, side your mind.
That smile feels kind, kind like human or maybe we're wrong.
                                                              And I'm just left dripping this song
                                                              from your broken nose.
                                                              Bleeding pen, oily ink stain on my carpet.

Pick up your bow and play me,
                            a tuneful breakfast, break fast or run fast either way your falling.
Hurdles to trip you to a steady beat don't stop trusting your feet.
                                                              Oh! Faithful functions follow
                                                                far further from freedom.
Door closing, drink up.                         
Soggy laces waiting to trip you.
                                                             

A contest entry

you can be critical, but be gebtle please : )

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • the-wake
    February 2
    Edit | Reply
    o0o I HATE FEET (it's true) It wouldn't let me add it to my poem. x

  • A-muse-in-writer
    February 1

    Edit | Reply

    Great Write

    For some reason this was visually assaulting to me, lol. I like the unique style and word choice. Fantastic write.


  • starving4perfection
    February 1

    Edit | Reply
    wow...kinda different style than what i've read before...but its unique and im liking it

    "Who told you to give up the ghost, who is me?
    When all is stuck in circles and your left, free?"

    amazing poem! thank you for the entry and good luck!

  • Thomas beechey
    February 1

    Edit | Reply

    Fresh And Fabulous

    I've always been a big fan of alliteration and your line "Faithful functions follow far further than freedom" was fantastically fun and flawlessly free-flowing!