I cried heart wrenching tears
Having watched you slip away,
Far into a place where light plays
Beyond almost everywhere I can reach
Days pass lost in an endless maze,
Formed of deep emotions dazed,
Dreaming my memories of you,
Watching you dance, dancing true.
In our dance together,
In love so deep forever,
The moment you said I do
And all the moments since through.
Than the time comes and I awake,
My heart feels that cold ache
And reality again intrudes
With the knowledge I knew.
So here I gaze lost in space,
Trying to find a way to put in place,
The sharp hard shards of a heart
While I sit here in the dark.
Author notes
caterpillar
A contest entry
- Not So Happily Ever After (Romeo And Juilet) by HereComesTheSun.
950 points, ended February 13, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PreWrite contest for my favorites/AP family/and group!!! by Kathraina.
1055 points, ended February 15, 290 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - round one (for everyone) prewrite contest ENTER ENTER ENTER (AND YES THAT MEAN'S YOU too by serenity silvermoon.
927 points, ended February 16, 1509 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I grasp my heart and feel the ache. Such a beautiful write with powerful words filled with such emotions.
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Judged-ola!
Aww this is such a sweet write! -
Positive: great plot and idea's and story told
Negative: rhyming was off and a bit cheesy and the writing was hard to read, the rhyming to me really took away from the story becuase my heart did not get attached to it
BUT
thanks for entering -
so sad to find love to then loose it a very heart wrenching read here, lovley rhyme and smooth flow, your words always jump out at me and transfix my eyes this was no different only it had such emotions running through it i had a lump in my throat xxx
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at least they found their true love even only for a short time...
carpe diem
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WOW!!! this is such an incredibly powerful write. such a great veriety of emotions here. a really amazing job. i love the dark parts the most.
it is done amazingly. very very verrrry well done, and best luck in the contest!!
xx
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