The terror has risen once again,
your frightened running end to end.
The demons are here, chasing you again,
your blinded, you can't see.
Eyes filled with blood running down your cheek,
your feeling so weak.
I'm holding you upside down by your feet.
What the hell happened this is not me!
Gripping your throat, gripping you so tight,
watching you choke,
Both hands,
this aint no joke.
Can't stop myself,
I'm out of control, a monster on the loose,
smacking the shit out of you, giving you another bruise.
It's my fault, I need to tighten my own noose,
your so precious, you don't deserve this abuse.
I need to get my head together, but these screws are so damn lose.
Hearing your mouth, so much mental abuse.
I can't handle it,
please stop it,
these demons are begging for more.
Your feeding them right down to the core.
Haven't you figured out, I will conquer every war,
when the demons are crawling out of my pores.
Ripping through the skin once more,
you ask me too leave and slowly close the door.
I tear out of my cage, busting up from the floor,
destroy the house as I am beating in your face a little more.
I'm so sorry what did you say, O your just pushing my buttons.
Once more it's like a game, putting me down,
taking all my pride turning it into shame.
Your mouth works wonders all the beautiful things you say,
you twist everything up,
It's gone to my brain, spinning around im going insane!
Please take my hand , lets take a walk in the rain.
Let me explain to you why you cant say these things,
your messing with a mad man that loves you,
our love is so much pain, I never want to loose sight of you
I just want this to go away,
because one day it's going to turn really dark and grey.
Your not going to wake up, that will be the ultimate pain.
I don't want to loose you forever, and i will definitely go away,
never see daylight again we'll both be buried in our graves,
deep in our own hell's within,
lets just hold each other, and think this is pretend.
Close our eye's start to pray,
but were do we begin?
All's I know, is Ill love you until the end!
This I know is not pretend.
Author notes
Grew up in a broken home seen alot as a child /Battle
A contest entry
- Sad, Upset, Hurt, Betrayed? by starving4perfection.
1550 points, ended April 26, 157 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A Call to Action by Backporchphilosopher.
700 points, ended February 4, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Shine The Brightest In A Writers Sky (( Looking For New Favorites)) by HereComesTheSun.
700 points, ended February 16, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Win $50, and be published in the next Allpoetry Book! Relationships theme by Kevin.
400 points, ended March 5, 115 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~Through With Love~ by Still Standing.
1500 points, ended February 24, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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I can identify. Grew up in much the same situation. Old man drunk beating the hell out of all of us. Shitty way for a kid to come up. First line; I would change rose to risen, it would read a little better I think and be more grammatically correct and I noticed throughout your poem you used your instead of you're. You might want to look at that. Good work over all!
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very powerul write with great imagery used throughout and it taps into the inner darkness in people and allows them to feel a fear running through them...very emotive, well done on such a good write
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good write!
and as far as demons go, it's better to fight them than chase them. but that is only my opinion. good write. love gypsyfish
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my first thoughts that entered my head as i read this was my ex husband beating me up...very powerful write took me straight back to that nightmare.The demons you speak of have attatched themselves to my soul now i relive the hell i went through day in da
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Judged
This was effective, and strong and deep and very vivid.
The word choice made this a powerful piece.
As you only entered one new poem, this prewrite will be removed from the contest - your other shall remain.
Thank you for sharing
Shari
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Wow, im scared..never falling in love wtih you!!!
really powerful and dark - and you've inspired me for a good idea thanks, wicked poem!
Tammy
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WOW..This is very dark indeed I like the part:
Let me explain to you why you cant say theis things,
your messing with a mad man that loves you,
That is so true about me...do me a favor spell check it and its all good!!! Thanks for entering and good luck! (ex: loose = lose) -
wow. crazy love/hate/love scenario. it was very interesting to read, like i love you so why do you make me do these things. please stop because i can't stop myself. i didn't really pick up on the rhyming till after i read it because i just wanted to see how it ended. i liked it overall.
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Hello, I was jsut wishing for some criticism (sorry if it is spelled wrong) on my writes.
Will you critique me -
I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!
I feel somewhat similar to the violence, and love at the same time. You should read my "Drop of Poison" for it's along the same lines, as this work of art.
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points for great write!!!!!!
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Graphic description of violence
Vivid from abusers perspective still see the horror and torture of demons within. Very well written, dramatic, emotive call to action. Only negative is few mistakes your instead of you're and others detract a bit from otherwise very powerful piece. Thanks for entering! -
very emtional...it makes me want to cry because it cuts a deep to close
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powerful emotions and strong feelings...
Well done, Chris...
Kiddy -
GREAT
Extremely deep and very meaningful. So scary yet so intriguing. Havnt you figured out ill conquer every war was my favorite part -
Positive: first of all im sorry for the past experience but im glad you can write about and show talent from such heartbreak. you really showed the mind and that is a great ability if have not been that person
Negative: the beat and rhythm in which it was read was not steady at all and the rhyming seemed force and childish there is a way to rhyme with out it being bay say fay may. you can to bay dismay and so forth
thanks for entering -
hey i loved this one man. was preety long but i read ot
"All's I know, is Ill love you until the end!
This I know is not pretend."
like your vow
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The story line in this is very powerful and dark.
I will critique it later by message.
You have improved your writing tremendously and should be extremely proud of this.
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wooahh! i totally agree! it sent shivers down me! it was so powerfully written. very amazing poem very well written
thank you for entering and good luck!
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wowwwwwwww... it is twisted how you portray such hate and abuse through out the write and then end it on a love note... very well penned !
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