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At Home Alone

For me another
quiet Saturday night
with a movie and buttered popcorn.
She’s gone out with her girlfriends.

Girls just need to have some fun.

I hear her music
but I don’t understand
the words.
The wheel of life rolls over me
and flattens me out;
no more sharp edges

Oh Lord, her skin’s so soft and smooth!

She noticed a few gray hairs
in my beard last month,
and made a funny face.

She is kind
and doesn’t  call me “Pops”

yet.

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Emmjay
    February 24

    Edit | Reply
    Lols, great! I'm glad I decided to take a look. I love the raw reality of this - no hiding behind poetic fluff. Bukowski taught me such a freeing lesson in this style of writing.
    I really enjoyed this heartwarming poem .
    PS: I've got 2 grandchildren older than my youngest son. They call me poppy urghhh!
    I will be checking out more often.
    Best wishes -Emmjay


  • Still Standing gold member
    February 9

    Edit | Reply

    I like it

    Had to re read it but I get it now....

    I like: The wheel of life rolls over me
    and flattens me out;

    Thanks for entering and good luck!


  • J.J. Sass
    February 2

    Edit | Reply
    although i cannot be empathetic to this situation, i certainly sympathize (not that it's wanted or needed lol). i like that there is acceptance but still that hint of doubt. thanks for entering


  • just mercedes gold member
    February 1

    Edit | Reply
    Lovely poem, the emotion here is hiding behind bravado, but there's sadness that seeps through. Poignant, as ara said, without descending into sentimentality. Very well handled.

    Best ofluck in the contest.


  • arafura gold member
    January 31

    Edit | Reply
    This is wonderfully well written. My type of poetry my friend. It has a poignancy all of it's own.


  • afroqban
    January 31
    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed this too. love the conversational tone and still keeping it poetic. well done


  • icyrose
    January 31

    Edit | Reply
    Oh so cute...
    I love the way you describe it all with such carefree spirits , with the laid-back wisdom of time. Definitely a wonderful poem.

1 - 7 of 7