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love

Laced with passion we kissed our lips
One to one your eyes become in sync
Vainly we look at each other,somthing sparkles in
Each others eyes knowing that tonight will change everyting

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • J.J. Sass
    January 31
    Edit | Reply
    what is 'insict'? did you even do a spellcheck?


    • paperbackwriter
      January 31
      Edit | Reply
      yah sorry i fixed it "In sync" i meant so tell me what you think please

      • J.J. Sass
        January 31
        Edit | Reply
        i think your last line still has typos, and you can stretch this though with a little more creativity and imagery. don't state the obvious, try to say general, common things in uncommon ways. that's what poetry is about.
        oh, and i forgot to put in the guidelines that entries should be left-aligned.
        thanks.