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whatever it is that carries love

Whatever it is
that carries love,
has turned its' beautiful eyes
to the moon
and followed
that straight yellow line
that pulls the tide
from the waters edge.

While on the beach, i stand-
on the many rocks
of quilt and sorrow,
with many questions
and much left to say...

Author notes

broken hearts. by kevin o'connor/ui'connabhair

A contest entry

What did you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • Kendal Palmer gold member
    May 12

    Edit | Reply
    i liked everything about this piece...poetic and strong...you are agreat writer...thank you for sharing your talent...peace and light always in all ways...Kendal


  • Kristine86
    May 12

    Edit | Reply
    simple and lovely! i like it very much! I agree with people below, the title is a very good choice. i like to comparison you made, and how it all ties together very nicely. Great job!!

  • Xxpoison.kissesxX silver member
    May 6
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful write, i love the title to the poem too...


  • a59teeth
    April 20

    Edit | Reply
    lovely and elusive!!

    i very much like the phrase, 'whatever it is that carries love'.....perfect choice of words and wonderful title as well!

    i can clearly see why the silver went to you and it was very well deserved!!

  • Raydog
    April 11
    Edit | Reply
    Very nice...I use to live in San Diego a long time ago, and have spent many nights on the rocks at La Jolla Shores thinking that very same thing.

    Then morning came and the crabs started coming out of the cracks in the rocks and I was soon easily entertained by that instead.

    Still, nicely done write...it says alot with very little.


  • SpeakLove93
    April 2

    Edit | Reply

    Very Nice!

    This piece has a lot of good imagery. I love "while on the beach, i stand-
    on the many rocks
    of quilt and sorrow
    with many questions
    and much left to say". Its a great ending to a lovely piece. Great Job!


  • Danielle0917
    April 1
    Edit | Reply
    This flows really well, and it made it super nice to read. I love it!


  • Jonbug gold member
    March 24

    Edit | Reply
    I love the concept of a "something" that carrys love. The moon and the yellow line are a great concept as well. Thank you for displaying your works here for me to see. I intend to check out other works of yours.


  • Lilian of Tilburg
    March 22

    Edit | Reply
    I liked this a lot, it was short and to the point.. I felt you as I read this...

    However much I loved this, I feel that this poem is sad, and there is not hope or inspiration found here for you to carry on by finding the answers from within yourself. My point really is, that even if you are alone, you can be more than fine, and be really strong, and you can find that strength in your own solitude...

    Thanks for the entry
    Lilian

  • Rasputin
    March 11

    Edit | Reply

    good

    this is a very good piece of work and bears the hallmarks of good poetry. it is focused, concentrated, economical, with fantastic cadences, and what's more, the subject matter is beautiful. i like this!


  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    March 5
    Edit | Reply
    while on the beach, i stand-
    on the many rocks-
    of quilt and sorrow

    i like the way that you put that. congratulations on the silver trophy you have earned with this. i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie

  • SilentMoonlight
    March 4

    Edit | Reply
    This is an amazingly worded heart wrenching poem.
    I've always loved the mention of the tide in a poem as it is ever changing and can swallow you whole.
    I think my favorite part of all of this is how you said so much in so few of words. The pain and agony of heartbreak can be described forever in a million different words but you managed to sum it up so nicely and neatly and in a way that breaks the readers heart.

    Amazing write my friend this truly is a work of art


  • karma-n-peace
    March 4

    Edit | Reply
    I can honestly and whole heartedly tell you that this is such an awesome poem.
    The metaphor is breath taking, you wrote with style and grace and the background compliments it well.
    Just a black on white, no fancy stuff, colorless; the way life is once you lose someone you love and compounded by guilt. These things I know intimately so I relate.
    But, I am sorry to say that this is absolutely no sad allowed, only the beauty and pleasure of love.
    So, to be fair to everyone and to me I have to remove it from the contest BUT please re enter, you obviously have expierenced love and you obviously have a skill/talent for writing with awesome metaphor and feeling.
    Please don't be insulted, this truly is a wonderful and moving piece, just not for this contest.

    I hope you re enter with another beauty!


  • Still Standing gold member
    February 23
    Edit | Reply

    So hearttbreaking!

    The imagery this write provides is so heartbreaking! I love it!!!

    while on the beach, i stand-
    on the many rocks-
    of quilt and sorrow
    with many questions
    and much left to say

    Isn't that terrible? Oh i know how it feels it is extremely painful and upsetting! Good Job and good luck!


  • Jaffa-
    February 4

    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed this, very nice use of language and a lovely rythem to it. Thank you for the great write xo

1 - 15 of 15