"Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful than Thor with his hammer. The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.”
~Henry David Thoreau
She was a moth beating on the glass
a sparrow beating wings hard in the face
of the wintery blast. She was in tears.
Her hands pounding their tattoo on my chest
as she panted and chanted, “Damn, Damn, Damn.”
I was ready to enfold her in my arms when
she was ready to let the tide of anger leave her barren
shores. The red twist of sunrise holding her anger
in the first flashes of the days eruption. From the first
bell, when dreams were broken and the cold reality
dashed dial tones and disembodied voices easy with bad news.
I was her wailing wall where she was free to untangle
herself from the webs of ache and pain.
She laid her head on my back as I folded the egg whites
into the batter, whispered thank yous for me being me.
I spooned the batter into the waffle iron, turned the sausage.
Sizzle and blossoming aromas with her kisses on my neck.
As the sunlight came through in slices across
the table, she took the syrup on her finger tip
reached over and put on my nose. Got up and kissed it away.
The tears came later as she felt the healing begin.
Some hurts are a blessing for they signal a beginning.
Salty and smiling, she dried her face on my shirt.
Wound herself around me purring in a tangle of joy.
She says she knows with me she is safe to be who she is.
9:51 PM
01/30/09
Alexandria, VA
In a list
A contest entry
- Entice.......24 hr. Quickie by poet2angels.
700 points, ended February 2, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think, what it makes you feel, how you are moved.
Comments
1 - 97 of 97
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gorgeous writing...a homey, comfortable kind of poem. great writing
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Thank you. Someone had featured it. I had let it slide our of my consciousness. The response reminds me that I do touch people.
Love,
Tom B.
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Tom, Im pretty sure I have read this before, but I dont care. I read it again, and some of the comments, and I have to say there was definitely divine intervention at work here.
Im not gonna go into what a wonderful poet you are, because you already know that. What I do want to say is thank you. That light. It's shining bright, and steady, and it's warm and inviting.
It's lovely to see the way the energies work through you, and touch other people. You're someone very special Tomis Burson, and don't you ever forget it
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Love to you always,
jin -
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I wish I could say I always know that and deep down I do. But life has a way of selling us negatives and sometimes it is just good to be reminded, In a very special way, I know you understand. All I can say is: I try to listen and respond when I hear the call.
Love, Tom B.
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I am going through a stage of life where I could use this kind of reality.. sadly not everyone has the same kind of caring you have given this woman. Love is not supposed to hurt this much I'm sure. I read everywhere the beauty of it but I just can't see it. You capture something we all need to read, even if it isn't a reality for us. Beautifully done tomisb. Beautifully done. Congratulations also on your gold
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Unfortunately, love and relationships are akin but not the same. It takes practice and work to have one succeed. I know, I lost my first marriage, not to lack of love but because we were co-dependent and didn't know how to stop.
Thanks for enjoying the poem. Best of luck in all things.
Love,
Tom B.
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Congrats on the spotlight! As I was reading it, I thought, hmmmm this was is really familiar and so beautiful and then I scrolled down and saw it got gold in my contest
Sigh...It is still gold
I just love reading you, Bro
Lynda
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Thanks, doesn't happen often. Glad the things you found in this hadn't faded.
Love,
Tom B.
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Regarding your epigraph. If he really thought that, why did he not change his name to "Thaweau!"
Sorry... I am not an enthusiast for counselling, "victim support" etc... When disaster strikes, I prefer to be left alone to minimize the practical aftermath, and get life back on normal course as soon as possible.
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Support is part of love and loving someone is learning to give them what is right for them in the circumstance. People don't always need fixing or even band aids, sometimes just enough space to work out their own process is enough. Thanks for the comment.
Peace,
Tom B.
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A Much Needed Read
AS I read this it brought me back to this past weekend. I spent it with my siblings at mt mama's house. We were together to discuss how to deal with her advancing dementia that doctors say will turn into full Alzheimers. It hurts and it hurts bad to see her leave us this way. But, we can't cry yet because now we have to take the strength she gave us and use it to do what is best for her. When I got home, before my husband asked about the trip, he sat me on his lap and rocked me like the baby my mama used to rock when I was in pain. Your poem has touched me in a way I really needed at this time. Thank you.
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this comment has me crying like a big baby. what a beautiful story you told. I understand it, I work with elderly, and Alzheimer's is so very painful. I can remember seeing my great grandfather in throes of full blown dementia-at 12 years old, scared the daylights outta me. Didnt know who I was, and that hurt so bad.
Now, with my patients I take it in stride, knowing to overlook the incidentals. It's not easy at all, and I really wish you all the best with your Mama, and hope the Lord makes things easy for her-and you.
Love,
jin -
Thank you - This is the first time a review has made me cry.
Love,
Tom B.
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So Real
I was very moved by the reakism of this write.
Nothing like real life huh?
My favorite lines were these:
The tears came later as she felt the healing begin.
Some hurts are a blessing for they signal a beginning.
Salty and smiling, she dried her face on my shirt.
Wound herself around me purring in a tangle of joy.
It is true that some hurts are a blessing, i am hopeing for today Tim and i parted ways .
A new beginning for his dreams to come true.
As life continues this was all to real today.
Beautifully done Tomis,
~Lisa~
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Anytime I can help, it is a blessing shared.
Sorry to hear about Tim and you but if it is for the best so be it. Stay in touch and never hesitate to call if need be. 703-589-2131. You take care and thanks for enjoying my simple words so much.
Love, Tom B.
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Magnificent Write
You are so ready to write a novel, on the many subjects of love, moderen or historical...I read this and it was a dynamic chapter begining...and I wanted more I wanted to see the night smooth out the emotions into pleasure. I wanted to see the sunrise....Tom you're amazing...to write of love like this is know what she needs; knowing what to give; knowing she needs you...I was in awe....of this read.....thank you for sharing your talent....novy
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I will write a novel. I am always overwhelmed by the undertaking. I know the story and I have the plot and maybe I am starting to believe, the talent to have it taken seriously. Thanks for all the support and help.
Love,
Tom B.
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moving, tender, and so beautifully penned. I love poems that touch the senses, and allow me to see, hear, feel. For a moment I felt like a silent bystander...good poetry always does that. Enjoyed
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Thanks. I am always trying to catch the different aspects of love, relationships, what it is and how it works. Thanks as well for letting me know it was vibrant and immediate. That lets me know, in some small way I succeeded.
Love,
Tom B.
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this was a moving look into a gently heart, one willing to be that "wailing wall" and after all, isn't that what most of us really want,? someone to listen and be there and love us all the same? thank you for sharing this amazing piece.
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You are more than welcome. This was written sometime ago and today I have had three reviews. I guess the good ones never die.
Sometimes the hardest part of love is knowing what and how to give. It took me years to learn that fixing it is not always perceived as loving. Glad you enjoyed.
Peace,
Tom B.
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Pure Gold Thomas.
For a time now I have known that love is often sacrificial.
It's about the giving (within healthy limits of course)
Paul
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Understanding that what a gift is shows and understanding of what the person can receive and knowing how it must be offered. The person who says, "They should be happy 'cause I gave 'em a card for mother's day," and doesn't recognize that a card tossed across the table unaddressed and unsigned is not a gift is just one example.
"Support" shows that sometimes the greatest help is not trying to help just being available. I used it because it is the least recognized form by men. Love's most single greatest sacrifice is that we have to live at risk and outside our comfort zone. We must acknowledge we have no control and no guareentee, only our willingness to work with, honor and cherish our partner and allow them enough room to grow while remaining near enough to be close. Tricky. I run on. Thanks for stopping by.
Peace,
Tom B.
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i am moved
beyond the words....
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A lovely read which flows as a chapter from a novel, great imagery giving rise to the senses and pulling the reader further within. Bravo, kindest thoughts, Anna-Marie.
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There is a magic in support. It helps move us through the pages of our lives, allows us to grow.
Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts with me. Much appreciated.
Love, Tom B.
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Well Won
Wow! I love this piece! The mental imagery is amazing. Very, very, good write!
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We are all emotional beasts. Rarely do we know how to deal with the art of feelings. I wanted this poem to show support and tenderness. I am glad it was a successful venture. Thanks for your support and appreciation.
Love, Tom B.
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a deserved gold!
Those are always fun to share.
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thank you. The rewards for kindness are always a blessing.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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As Always
your imagery reenforces the words you pen with such strength. The message of the poem is never lost in the union of the two.
Congratulations upon the Gold.
I must admit to know when to hold one's words and when to give is a gifting that only comes with maturity. One which it seems I still lack at times.
Your offering speaks of the beauty of relationship through all circumstances. A steadying presence no matter the condition of the storms of life. Well Done!
Niaish for sharing
Silent Hawk
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Took me years to learn that to accept first is always the rule. To fix, no matter how slight the touch is something asked for and often only then. Even to offer is to slight another with weakness. In times of turmoil love and belief often provide strength. Being a safe harbor is in its own way a gift.
Thanks for enjoying this simple display of moments when healing comes.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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a gold well deserved indeed. Especially liked how YOU sort of take on the passive role in this entanglement of emotions , pain and a step towards healing. YOU just are, you remain the wall to lean on....and that is sometimes much more important then trying to jump in and fix the problem. SHE [whomever she is or could be [anyone] is not asking to have it fixed....she has the need to let it play itself out and find her own way to healing. So much more I could say , but it would be over-analytical and I am sure there is no need for that as you know exactly what the "core" of the poem is,
much love always,
Reenie
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I am a hell of a good fixer. But it is seldom needed or asked for. Mostly being mute, providing space and being present are all that is required. It is tricky sometimes recognizing what is needed. I have made my fair share of mistakes. Unfortunately, I don't read minds. But my intuition is pretty good.
Love, Tom B.
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I thought I had already commented on this but maybe not. A very well thought out write about something so personal. Conrats on the gold, well deserved. LittleMoon
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Thanks. We forget that life is not about us. When we are with the person we love it is even more important to be about them and have them be perfect right down to their last imperfection. I have been told by friends, my Grand Aunt and lovers that I seem to know how to be silent and a great support. Sometimes, I think, I am just lucky to be appreciated for keeping my mouth shut.
Love, Tom B.
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I absoutely loved it
this was amazing great job
s
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Thank you. It is a big shift from fixer to supporter
Love,
Tom B.
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WOW... first of all, thanks for featuring this wonderful piece... secondly, congrats on the gold and this poem deserves it...
True emotions you have conveyed across works out well for me and I could relate to so many things... One particular line 'Some hurts are a blessing for they signal a beginning.' , to be frank, reminded me of my first day of my wedding and first night as well... A beautiful write..so emotional and imagery-filled...Thanks for sharing...
Note: Fourth stanza, Line 3
"reached over an put on my nose.'' - it's - reached over and put on my nose',- isn't it... I guessed/read it so... Sorry If I went wrong...
Love and regards
Kiddy
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Thanks for the editorial note. I don't know how those things slip by sometimes.
Change creates discomfort. These hurts that heal from our living them out, using those parts of us that have shifted until they are whole and strong again. I broke my leg when hit by a car. It was a long process, a longer story. I learned all about healing pain and the need to never turn away from it. Also, healing pushed too fast can turn into hurt.
Thanks for sharing so much in your review. It is a gift.
Love, Tom B.
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You paint a picture here that was as good for me as a movie scene. The emotion here is so familiar and "homey" It drew me right into the picture.
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Thanks, it is always good to hear that the images are so natural they feel as if they belong in the life of the reader.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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First .. congrats on the gold.
This speaks volumns about the transaction
one goes through .. from everything that causes pain.. to the anger.. the pain.. and then
that special time.. healing..
Riftkin
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This is a transaction. Not about being broken. Feelings must be felt and expressed. Validated. Then, we can move on. Healing comes as required and its pain celebrated, when we can do it with someone who knows and lets us do it without interference. We are better when partnered and each knows the gift the other is.
Love, Tom B.
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as always, your words are so very beautiful. thank you for sharing your talent with me today. congratulations on the gold trophy you have earned with this magnificant piece of work. i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie
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Thanks for all the accolades. Yeah, I think I caught a little something with this one. Be blessed.
Love,
Tom B.
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very good!
that is a lovely poem, full of imagery. I really like the line-
'As the sunlight came through in slices across
the table'
as it paints a vivid picture of the scene. I really enjoyed this poem, so well done! -
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Thank you. You are the first to mention that line and I thank you. I thought it brought the whole scene into focus and I am glad to hear that it did for you. I figure if I can paint the right picture I can say alot ot things.
Love, Tom B.
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wonderful
This is a very nice poem. I know how anger is, Know one wants to be around when a female is angry, men rather walk away. Some times it could be justified. When a female calms down a man normally, still would'nt get close to her. The female has to aproach the man. This I don't like because , men should be more considerite, especially when they go near, then still walk away. I was told a long time ago, when you get off the chandler we can talk. It was a pleasure to read your poem.
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Most people avoid people who are angry, in the throes of grief, but when it is a loved one often, if not always, it is important to be present so they are not alone. Not to minimize or argue with their vent but just to be present. I wanted to capture this sense of support and how it is a process, welcomed by the partner when they had the space they needed but your presence available and accepting. Thanks for the comment.
Love, Tom B.
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hey tom,
this is a very enchanting poem, very nice to read.
its a beauty. worth reading many times
jezz
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Thanks, I appreciate you taking the time to share your pleasure.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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Gold.
Of course.
I needed to read this this morning.
Love,
jin -
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Thanks. Glad you feel that way. Feels good when someone takes more than one look.
Love,
Tom B.
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Some rare and enchanting imagery culminating in delightful,romantic, domestic bliss ...George....
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Thanks. I do what I can.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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Brilliant! This one hits the essence of feelings and emotions spot on. Congratulations on the Gold. You deserve every bit of it.
I read a lot of other poets here. You have a classic style.
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Thank you, Wanted to catch the sense of what support means. From your response, it appears I have for you.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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Wow!
I can totally relate to this poem. So much emotion.It makes it seem so easy to forget about your trouble, to trust someone enough to let it out. The line "hurt are blessing, the start of a new beginning" I love that...because one often feel better after a good cry..it cleanses your soul. Not a professional opinion, but I hope it exspress enough.
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Thanks. It is always good to know when you have written a poem that touches someone. You have gone an extra step and told me the places where it stood out.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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Nice. I think it could be sharpened up a bit. I think in your editing you've become a little vague. If you haven't edited...you need to.
Good poem as it stands...but it could be sharper and cleaner. -
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A critique on your critique. First you might be right, but if I am vauge and I don't know that I am, I need examples. Otherwise the critique is an arrow with out a clear target. This is not to say you are not right. You may well be. But I promise you, if I saw what you are talking about, I care enough about my stuff that you wouldn't be able to say it.
Peace & Light,
Tom B. -
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Fair enough, and I get you...but I don't care enough about your poem to say anything more. If you don't catch my meaning, maybe you can just consider me wrong or more precisely invalid. Or you simply aren't hep to my suggestion. Either way, it's only my opinion. Take it however you want. I think the piece could be sharpened down and convey more meaning with less words. I'm sort of reiterating...
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Such an unusual write but so comforting in the way you deal with a personal problem, quietly and with caring patience. Safe and loved, yes, you portray that, very well done. Sheila
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Feelings are feelings, not a right or a wrong. They, just, are. It took me along time to learn that and most of it has been spent learning my own. All that is important is allowing them room to be felt, experienced, then dealt with. After that, behaviors, how to move forward, etc can be talked about if necessary or needed. Support is just knowing that love is enough to provide the safe space for the expression and experience. Took me awhile to learn.
Glad you enjoyed. Love has so many ways to be expressed. Many as subtle as the tickle of sunlight across the back of a hand reaching out to say thank you.
Love, Tom B.
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This is by far one of the poems I've read in a while. It's images were wonderful. I love how this story played in my mind.
Síochán leat
~Mairéad~
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I got your mind. Now, I hope it reached out and touched your heart.
Love, Tom B.
Thanks for the review, I do appreciate it.
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Gorgeous and beautiful, well deserving of gold! Now hand me a hankie so I can blow my nose! *rolf*
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I don't have a hankie so a kleenix will have to do. I was surprised at how strongly people reacted to this one. Glad you enjoyed.
Love,
Tom B.
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This is so true. Men always want to fix rather than just be or just listen. Fixers by nature are more often shunned and discarded. No one wants everything to be fixed they just want a sounding board. Difficuslt task for the fixer by nature. Must be a learned reflex for most of us. Wonderful poem and great insight into a world of woes and heart aches that just don't need to be fixed. RC
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Maybe it was learning that feelings are not an expression of things being broken but rather the depth of the life being lived. I don't know. There is a lot less pressure from me and on me now that I just listen.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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Wow. SImply wonderful. Such pure feeling of love and connection. I love this, I feel as if I must read it many more times to fully comprehend its beauty.
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Thanks for the sweet comment. Love is support not fixing what is not broken.
Love, Tom B.
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i think i read this yesterday, but didn't want to leave you just a "pretty" comment.
i rememebered that the part about whispering thanks yous for being me touched me, because i have thanked someone for being them before. only, in my case, it turned out that the "you" that was depicted, was not, in fact, the real them....
i liked the whole support theme. (and then i remember the title lol... silly)
i loved your last line.
this is sweet
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One of the greatest gifts we can provide someone is believing them to be whole and strong even in their weakest moments. Glad you enjoyed.
Love, Tom B.
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I could have related to this at one time. Now I don't get emotional because I just don't go there . This was beautiful because you have given the reader the emotions and images of the complexity that is love. A lovely or should I say magnificent poem. It touched me. I think my comment is a contradiction LOL
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You may have grown enough that you don't expect someone to provide and have learned to be your own resource. Still, support is a form of a quiet tender love that does not show its face often for we are not often that centered or that strong. The rest of your comment has no contradictions and I can only say thank you.
Love, Tom B.
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I love this .......
It is not only love and sensuality but also gentle understanding, compassion and acceptance...I know this from the one that I love and it plays such a part in the closeness in a relationshipo...The last line brought tears because I can so relate...
Such a pretty part of love. I am glad that there are some men who know this....
Lynda
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Thank you.
Men are, by their nature, fixers. Making things work and work properly is how they gain approval at work. It takes a lot of maturing and becoming aware of how a relationship is not work. Then support becomes a discovery, a joy and a gift.
Love, Tom B.
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Breakfast is easily my favorite meal. I love how you incorporated the quote with your piece. This woman sounds amazing. Don't let her stray far away. You put a special touch on this poem. Very beautiful.
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Men by their nature are fixers. It takes growth and maturity to just know that love becomes best when used to provide support.
Love, Tom B.
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it reminds me of my own lover, actually. he is many wonderful things, but the reason we are so good together is because there are no illusions. i am what i am and he is what he is. i like to think that kind of honesty allows for literal true love. your poem has caught that feeling of security, strength, familiarity, and acceptance.
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Acceptance is form of true surrender. Support is understanding that your partner doesn't need fixing, just someone to be there while you take care of your needs. Love provides.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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Bravo
these are some of the most thrilling words I have ever read
THIS STANZA PULLED ON MY HEAT VERY STRONLY
I was ready to enfold her in my arms when
she was ready to let the tide of anger leave her barren
shores. The red twist of sunrise holding her anger
in the first flashes of the days eruption. From the first
bell, when dreams were broken and the cold reality
dashed dial tones and disembodied voices easy with bad news. I was her wailing wall where she was free to untangle
herself from the webs of ache and pain.
But the whole write soared with poetry
Again Bravo
Annie
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Support is the hardest thing to achieve and the simplest act.
Love, Tom B.
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this is a fantastice write that brought tears to my eyes, i love the secure feeling it brings and the knowledge that i am lucky enough to be enfolded in love and feel safe being loved and needed by someone who has the power to heal.
as usual your writing has the power to move me intensely as i am sure it does to many others.
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I learned a long time ago that we don't need fixing, just support to be who we are and love to know we are not alone.
Love, Tom B.
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Wow...
I can not express how this scene played out before my tearful eyes, asking God why i can't have this specialness of love in life.
This is truly Gold love ...as i call it.
My heart just broke in a million pieces wishing, for a comforter like a favorite gown when i am sick.
one of your best
Love
~Lisa P~
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Thanks, for trying. I think that love like this has a lot to do with the maturity of the partners. Their health in relationships, is important as well. Loveing someone is easy. Being in a relationship and understanding how it works, how to be yourself in it and let others be themselves takes practice, maturity and the ability to define boundries without making someone feel they are being pushed away.
You are always worthy of a Gold love. Know that and accept nothing less and always give nothing less. Create what you would have be and the world will shift to be harmony with you.
Love, Tom B.
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The release of so many emotions while in the throws of passion, mending & healing..remolding her confidence..enticing her to be herself is what a woman needs...then its all worth bed & breakfast...to know you are loved, someone cares.
You shown me a man; a real man; a human that has feeling also .....This ROCKS the prompt....and I totally enjoyed this read...a masterpiece of love...........excellent Tom.......
Novy
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I am the oldest of six and by naturer a caring person. For years, I was a fixer and damn good at it. Pissed off a lot people who didn't feel broken.
I have learned what it means to support. A large part of it is knowing that you have nothing to prove or any approval to gain. The other part is space and it is just a dance.
Glad you enjoyed this.
Love, Tom B.
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Absolutely spellbinding.
I cannot express just where it takes me, just know I'm glad you demanded I read it.
The syrup, the tears being wiped away on your shirt. The human side of love, the healing side.
It's times like these when you know without a doubt, you belong to her, and she belongs to you, in this life, and into the next one.
Okay, so I guess Iwas able to tell you where it took me
HANDS DOWN the best read I've read of yours in a long long while.
THE LIGHT.
THAT EMANATES.
FROM YOU.
(full stops fully intentional).
It's. . . in one word?
PERFECT.
Love,
jin
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We too often run from our humaness or feel it lets us down. We are our best when we just let ourselves experience the full panapoly of who we are without judgement, without defense. So hard to do, so rewarding when it happens.
Love, Tom B.
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chuckles...looks below...but in surfacing it's always worth the wait C
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There is a rhyme and reason, but often many blind alleys in the process.
Love, Tom B.
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