Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Dance of remorse, whisper of death

I'm tetering on the edge of the living
and the dead,
and no one is there to grab my hand
So I dance the dance of death,
and whisper to you my remorse

My self-condemnation,
I call your name, but you dont hear it.
I beg you to take my hand.
but the devil takes it,
and we dance the dance of death

Our atrophic waltz you finally saw
Only once the jealousy consumed you
You tried to take my hand
but couldn't grasp it.
And the dance continued

I whispered your name,
You heard my remorse
but still you couldn't take me away,
So I dance the dance of death,
and whispered to you my remorse.

Author notes

"and so i dance the dance of death, and whisper to you my remorse" i was inspired by this quote, and i hope to make this poem worth the read, so i wish to have help to fix

AP name: Brokentruth93

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Symphony
    April 17

    Edit | Reply
    I used to love a local band here called My Remorse

    This was quite a chilling write - but the imagery was great, very vivd!

    Thanks for entering


  • starving4perfection
    February 1

    Edit | Reply
    i agree! that was superb! you did a good job with that quote! great imagery here too. thank you so much for entering and good luck!


  • Smiles.Upside.Down.
    February 1

    Edit | Reply

    Superb!

    there is nothing you need to fix. this was a GENIOUS write! simply brilliant! i loved this poem very much so.

    i can't think of one thing you can do to make it any better! i loved it!