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I was standing in your hallway
You were looking out the window
I could see the dark outline you
Softening lines on a pensive gaze

Lost in your thoughts painful and bleak
I could see you, not feel you, your pain
You were you, different and outside
As I stood in your hallway, your home
with loving eyes caressing you..

But you were you, different and outside
Connected to something strongly inside
And I was I, wanting......... to your outside,
As I stood there waiting..........
for me to join you, or you to join me...












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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    April 9

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    Ah..what else one can do when things are beyond to control except to wait...Indeed a very soft coverage of the inside...just beautiful poetry you did...


  • Mari Goes gold member
    April 1
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    This sounds sad but written with your usual touch of beauty


  • Cyber Artist Moderators member
    March 25

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    I was drawn by the changing concept of space, this almost mystical area that we inhabit or go to. It felt like a bubble that you encased the characters and towards the end we' re willing the bubbles to unite creating one large space. while all the time we exist in the same space just not on the same mental plane. well as you can see this made me think and that's a bonus.
    I liked the fact that it opened me to seeing more than the words fist give. I find Poetry ether smacks you in the face or sneaks behind you and cold cocks you in the back of the head. this got me in the back of the head and awoke thoughts and imagination I wasn't expecting...Nicly done
    Cyber Artist


  • Sir Ima Cucumber
    February 12

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    A tough poem, because the reader can feel the uneasiness, that wish to get closer, to be on firm ground with this person. It's never a good place to be...trying to reach out, but not really daring, or knowing how...so we watch, and wish. I have been there a time or two. Probably will again...I may already be there.

    Lovely poem, but with a wistful, hurting feel to it.


  • DarkWarrior
    February 1
    Edit | Reply
    beautifully portrayed... lots of longing and pain...

1 - 7 of 7