Dear boy,
It has been so long since I’ve been able to catch a sunset and yesterday I accidentally tore the moon in half. The solar system is in chaos: without a moon, the stars can’t see, and they trip over each other, snapping and breaking and cutting. I’ve never seen the Milky Way in such sad shape. My palms are adorned with blisters because of how hard I press this pen to my flesh. I think the ink is what’s suffocating my lungs; an eternal poison. Or maybe it’s just you.
I wish you were here to take care of me.
Dear girl,
I chose to break up with you. Ever since then, I can hear your heartbeat thumping with each creak in the staircase and your apple-green eyes taunt me. Maybe it’s good that you aren’t here to see me now. I have so many gashes on my face where I’ve cut myself shaving and my favorite flannel shirt is too loose. My garden has been taken captive by enemy weeds and only some of the flowers still bloom. Every time I think about the look of hurt I so brutally carved on your face, I slip the noose around my vile neck one.inch.tighter.
Dear boy,
Our sonnet has been sung and for once, I can actually say the lyrics instead of only giving you static. Since you’re not here to mend me anymore, my veins don’t pump blood to my heart, I’ve gone color-blind, and the wires that connect my brain to the rest of my body have been severed. What was once sweet doesn’t taste the same. I don’t know how I’ve been able to function each morning without you for this long.
Dear girl,
I’ve built you a symphony. Are you listening? The flutes represent your tingling voice and the drums are synchronized with your breathing. The piano is your beauty, the organ your radiance, and a violin performs when you spill tears. All the other instruments work and mingle together, interweaving and overlapping to create a human masterpiece. And finally, a cello: your faith that there is something better than love out there.
Dear boy,
I wrote you a best-seller, yet I know how you hate to read. Maybe you’ll come across it at some point in your life and give it a chance. It’s about a girl and a boy, kind of like you and me. She ends up saving him in the end and they fall in love and then fall apart. They never did find their way back to each other. But then again, I never finished the ending.
Dear Bria,
I still love you and I’m afraid that I’ll never be able to stop.
Dear John,
I’m leaving my heart with you, so look after it for me, okay? God only knows I need someone to keep it safe for me when I leave.
Author notes
Title 15: "Cinderella Heartbreak".
s h e s t i l l s m i l e s x -->♥<~~
A contest entry
- The Top Ten Titles: Double Whammy (Prompt Contest) by lowercase prelude.
1200 points, ended February 11, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the static rounds: audition. show me what you've got. by decode.
1070 points, ended June 21, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - abecedarian workshop; auditions. (PREWRITES) by dieu..
450 points, ended July 11, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - supernova;; [watch me explode] by Kiss the girl--x.
400 points, ended October 14, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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This is really good!!!!
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Gourgous! I love this
thanks for your entry and good luck -
Gorgeous. Absolutely Stunning. That's all I can say. Wow. Brava.
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yes yes yes yes yes !
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yes.
obviously. <3 -
wow. yes.
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god, yes.
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ohhh, yesss.
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hell yes, I've read this before and it's truly an amazing piece.
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-It has been so long since I’ve been able to catch a sunset and yesterday I accidentally tore the moon in half. The solar system is in chaos: without a moon, the stars can’t see, and they trip over each other, snapping and breaking and cutting. I’ve never seen the Milky Way in such sad shape.
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Ohmygawd. I believe I just fell in love :] Those lines are so well penned with the most extraordinary metaphors and comparisons. Yeah, definitely a well deserved gold. And I haven't even gotten to the ending yet...
-Every time I think about the look of hurt I so brutally carved on your face, I slip the noose around my vile neck one.inch.tighter.
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Wow. Such an intense phrase. You really worded that perfectly.
-I wrote you a best-seller, yet I know how you hate to read.
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So simple, yet so...I don't even know. That just really hit me. It really is us in so many ways. Here we are, writing these poems, and yet I'm wondering if they'll ever get the chance to read them. And then again, I'm not sure I want him to, but I mean it's just crazy. You really just said it all in that one line.
Also, I love the set-up of this poem, with the 'dear boy' and 'dear girl' and then with 'dear bria' and 'dear john' at the end. Wow. :/
You really are inspiring, hoe. No lie. (: ♥
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this is a beautiful write, personal and sad.
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Beautiful
"apple-green eyes"... lovely expression.
this poem is an eye catching, heart pumping read.
awesome job!
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22.5/25
a bit long for my taste...but holy cow, I agree with my AP brother, this is wow. I see definitage of placage!
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Wow I am speachless and even if for a moment that is something that very few ever manage to accomplish, There is nothing her to critque, nothing here that anyone would ever be able to improve on the words flow ever so beautiful in their own sadness capturing yours with such a breath taking beauty that every reader should be in awe. Amazing Good luck in the contest
Romeo
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Holy crap, this is....wow.
Seriously, the way your wrote this brought out so much emotion.
Very well penned and great use of the title -
Oh my god Bria. This is amazing. Like.....really? Imagery, emotion (personal emotion at that), word choice, everything is just perfect. You truly are a fantastic writer. I best see your work in books one day, or we're gonna have a problem. =)
Keep it up and all the best,
Billy. =D
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Nice write. The extra oomph at the end sneaks up on you, a personal surprise.
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Oh, man, this is so sad! I absolutely love the images you used, and the wording was just breathtaking. I love the human symphony metaphor, and the apple-green eyes bit was amazing. Best of luck in the contest!
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This is nothing short of incredible.
Maybe my favourite piece of work on this site.
The beauty of your words and the fluidity of it all is simply captivating, the imagery is breath-taking..
And the emotion! Amazing. Simply amazing.
Keep up the great work!
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Wow.
I loved how you made it more personal at the end.
Your metaphors during the first 4 letters were amazing.
Your work never ceases to amaze me.
Chin up,
Swim.x
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I love this! You're wording and expressions and ah! It's brilliant.
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Awww.
This was just... wow.
Breathtaking.
I love all of the different metaphors/similes you incorporated into this beautifully tragic love story.
Best of luck to you in the contest you've entered, though I don't think you need it. ;]
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