The morning was led out in his chains again, and I was there to greet him, whip in hand. It is the beginning of a backbreaking twelvehours, of sweat and toil and imaginary seeds to sow. He flames redhotred when he gets burned, turning cerulean to lick his wounds. I shall not let him.
It is something to feel when the ground and human skin make one. Lemonade embryos sprout from the bellybutton and fan the sky, stealing the soulwarmth from his arms. The air breathes her own vernacular - cleansing emptiness that rots the internal organs and turns ashestoashes.
Night is his own type of bandit, trying to release the sun from my guilty pleasures. But I lock him away in the corner of my eyelid, a musicboxmemory to play on the edges of dream-atmosphere. I have seized the day, and now is the time to kiss the dark.
~~~
Author notes
memento mori ("remember that you are mortal")
And Hyetal
In a list
A contest entry
- prose. by love tank x.
1350 points, ended February 14, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prose prewrites -- for my favorites only. by sideways hourglass.
400 points, ended May 14, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
of course that's how you're supposed to feel.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
brilliant
This was truly amazing Cassie!!!
Like Tegan I adored the first line. it was absolutely...amazing. I'm not sure if I like the "redhotred" part, but that's probably me just being picky. I absolutely love the imagery you used in this, it was attention grabbing without killing the meaning in the poem.
Truly wonderful poem.
One thing though, even though I know this is an old poem isn't "memento mori" supposed to be "momento mori"? You're probably right though. I don't know
-
I love this! It's unique. And I really like the way you introduced this -- and then you carried it out perfectly. And I say perfectly, because you held my attention and there weren't any mechanical errors that hindered the flow...and if there are any, then I missed it. But whatever, this is good.
-
as in, remember you will die?
maybe change "gets" to "is" in the first stanza? & I agree with color me silent about the "imaginary seeds" bit.
small things. otherwise it is brilliant.
♥
--d.
-
The air breathes her own vernacular - cleansing emptiness that rots the internal organs and turns ashestoashes.
-
I lovelovelove that scentence. this has in depth, beautiful imagery and an engaging concept.
I love the title too, it fits really well.
wow, great job.
sorry, no criticism. :]
-
That first sentence = amazing.
I'm not too sure about the "imaginary seeds to sow" line... it seemed funky to me.
The lemonade embryos sentence is brilliant... excellent imagery!
That's really all I've got... it's fantastic. Also, "memento mori" was in my senior flashbacks for the yearbook, lol.
Brilliant.
♣ Tega
-
This is a magnificent prose piece. The story paints some great imagery, teamed with well penned emotional content
Great work -
this is really beautiful. thank you for entering
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
