30 Questions

All you wanted to know about me:



1.      Have you ever laughed so hard you peed in your pants or had some sort of beverage come out of your nose? If so, tell me about it.

No, but as I get older, the chance of incontinance increases.

 
2.      Have you ever done something you said you’d never do? What?

Yes. Many things.

 
3.      If you could sleep with any movie star, who would it be and why?

Not really into movie star sex. I think the carry enough diseases to make rats look clean.

 
4.      Have you ever been in a fist fight?

Yes. When I was in 2nd and 3rd grades I used to come home with a mark under my eyes a couple of times a week.


5.      Do you have ADD?

No

 
6.      What was you most serious injury?

Possible ruptrured disc in my back. I have had it for 30 years and never had it checked out.

 
7.      If you could have any type of pet, what would it be?

Since I already have dogs the next best thing would be an armadillo, or an Indian Runner (a type of duck).

 
8.      Name three thoughts you’re having at this exact moment.

I wonder if I can answer all of these. I wonder if I should delete this. Am I the only guy that did one?

 
9.      How did you bring in the New Year?

Slept through it.

 
10.  If you’re married, would you do it again? If you’re not married, do you want to be?

I was married. I am not now, and yes, i want to be married again.

 
11.  Do you have a crush on anyone on AP? Does he or she know it?

Yes. She does.

 
12.  Send me a link to your favorite poem on AP (not written by you).

I dont have one. I have hundreds. There are so many good poets.

 
13.  If you could only take 3 things to a deserted island, what would they be?

Stef, a boat (she needs to shop), and her cat (she wouldn't go with out it).  I actually only need Stef.

 
14.  What’s the one thing you admire most about yourself?

I try hard to be better than I was.

 
15.  What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?

I am not very successful being better than I was.

 
16.  What do you do for a living? Do you enjoy it?

I am an environmental and safety consultant. Yes, I do.

 
17.  When was the last time you cried yourself to sleep?

Never done it.

 
18.  Regarding the above question, why?

I dont cry in bed.

 
19.  How would your closest friends describe you?

A tragic fuck up who threw everything away.

 
20.  What song do you want played at you funeral?

The Lonely Bull - Herb Alpert and the Tiajuana Brass.

 
21.  What’s the last thing that made you laugh?

Entiries in my adult humor contest.

 
22.  What were your favorite bed sheets as a child?

I dont remember the sheets being anything special, but when I was very small I had a blue cowboy bedspread. I have cotton flannel sheets now.

 
23.  If you could apologize to your Higher Power for something, what would it be?

For being a tragic fuck up.

 
24.  Where’s the funniest place you’ve ever had sex?

In a field next to a 4 wheeler. The place wasnt funny, but the sex was.

 
25.  Have you ever been caught having sex?

Yeah. I have 5 kids. It is inevitable that sooner or later you get walked in on.

 
26.  What did you want to be when you grew up?

My earliest career wish was an astronaut.

 
27.  Have you ever truly been in love?

I thought so at the time.

 
28.  What’s your definition of love?

I don't know.

 
29.  Would you move to the moon if it was inhabitable?

Only if no one else was already there.

 
30.  How long did it take you to complete this?

Most of the day after it was posted. I erased it 4 times.