he knelt above her, intensely watching her eyes.
she cried out the first few times, but never objected to the strikes.
she...I. I became numb. not sure of what was going on anymore; his lips moved but the only sound was that rushing blood in my ears. his face became concerned.
so i gave him a smile.
A contest entry
- my first word prompt contest by Mariana.
700 points, ended February 13, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark, cutting, suicide, sadness, depression by stargardt13.
700 points, ended February 28, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
buenos noches, mi amore
Comments
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This was a very unique poem. It mad me stop and think about the true meaning of your poem. I liked how different it is. I was a little confused with the title on your poem and how it relates to what you're talking about. Thanks for sharing it with me and entering this poem in my contest
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congratulations on the green thingy
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WOW...this is a most intriguing take on the prompt...so unexpected. I like poetry that gives me pause for thought and this certainly did. My only criticism is...IMHO...that it would have been better if you changed the format of the poem with shorter lines...giving it more punch...albeit that it still...in it's present form...makes for a dramatic statement. Bravo!
Good luck in the contest.
Mariana
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