I saw you walk by
You looked cute, thats no lie
i've liked you for a while
Ever since you walked by that dirt pile
Your the red in my candy cane
The bread of my sandwhich
The water to my bottle
I could go on and on because
our every thing to me
WILL YOU BE MY VALENTINE
A contest entry
- Be My Valentine♥ by EiramDK.
675 points, ended February 15, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Easy as Pie by Cyanide Dreams.
3250 points, ended April 17, 132 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Hi! I have a few corrections for you.
In the second line, "thats" should be "that's"
I think you forgot to capitalize "I" in the third line
In the fifth line, "Your" should be "You're"
Lastly, in the ninth line, "our" should be "You're"
This was really cute. The rhyme made it flow better and really brought out how happy you are to know this guy. Good luck in the contest!
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Very nice. Short and to the point.I like the metaphors. They're so cute. And its a really cute poem altogether. Good job and nice pen. Keep it up.
Josh
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I picked it cause u said you liked metaphors
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I liked it! It was cute and the metaphors were unique and they totally worked.
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good i like the metaphors best of luck well done
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hehehe its not about mr rico ...it might be who arianna thinks ...idk??? O WELL it rymed YAY
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i liked that poem.... i think i know who it is about... but w.e
it was good -
Mr. Rico?
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