tarnished in the taunting
jeopardizing jackals
reign ruthless neglect-
salivating salacious
lack of respect
towards teetering tire.
pressing dangerous passing
I pause-
recalibrate, recovering
from lubricious lies.
we cut new trails
finding traction traced-
sliding slushy coated
treads, patterned
pockmarked radials
in the bumpity-bump.
Salt, sand-
nothing but sun
could warm the winter
that sags the slipping
delight of finding
one's destination.
Author notes
...Um, had to deal with a flat tire, during my drive over icy roads. No fun, when people are riding fast up on your bumper.
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Oh NO that is so dangerous and other drivers just don't give a damn! Thats how accidents happen. I am so glad you are OK. I love your descriptive wording here. I can almost hear you using far more choice words as you struggled.
-
you use a flourish at line 2 to set a colorful tonality to this ride, this tonality goes perfectly with the rest of the poem which is entered by the two couplets in an amazing way: alliterations about, flow stops, goes, slides and in the final stanza there are sound words, a grinding, sliding flow and a solid power last line 'one's destination' .. this is almost humorous in its power. it is muscular, minimalist poetry at its best and the poet uses skill and a good ear as well as an understanding of what poetry is ... this is not lyrical poetry, this is pure metaphore at its abstract best ... yet the topic is so mundance, but in the pen of a poet it waited and brewed and the result is a great little poem. It is not easy to maintain the velocity and weight and movement using this image rich and verbally distinct style of writing but here it is almost effortless ... but I go on too long
bravo ... i want to read more of your poetry without having to search forit, making you a fav ... i am intrigued by your technique .. it is new to me .. i have much to learn
-
hhhmmm.. smooth flow
and a very detailed piece with vivid imagery..sounds like you have the same kinda nuts on the roads as we do where in S.C.. luckily you survived and was able to recoount this unpleasant experience.. great write poetess!
Adding your comment:
