Daddy, dont hurt her,
Shes screaming really loud,
Daddy dont you love us,
I thought you loved us,
I thought you loved mommy to,
I went to the phone,
Whyd you stop me,
You ripped it out of the wall,
don’t you want us to be saved,
Jessie and cole are upstairs,
They can hear mommy screamin,
There really scared,
Please don’t push mommy anymore,
Please dont hit her,
What are you doing this for,
Daddy I love you,
Mommy was at work,
Not out with her friends,
She came home today daddy,
dont hurt her,
You guys fight all the time,
I always hear mommy screamin,
When im tryin to sleep,
I got to go to school tomorrow,
I need to get some sleep,
I havnt gone in forever,
I can never wake up,
The police some every night daddy,
You can stop now,
You can get along now,
Daddy why do you have that knife in you hand,
Why are you pointing it tawards mommy,
don’t hurt her don’t hurt her,
Daddy cant you hear me,
I thought you loved me daddy,
I thought you loved mommy,
I thought you loved us,
Stop I don’t want to be taken away,
that’s whats gunna happen daddy,
Mommy tolled me so,
I want to stay here with you,
I love you daddy,
I don’t want to go.
Author notes
my father and mother are both alcoholics. from the time i was born until i was 7 i lived in that house. it was the hellhouse. they fought every night. a police report said that the police came to my house 31 times in one month. i never went to school because i was too tried. on the last fight my father pulled out a knife. my sister was 5 at the time and witnessed it. i am now 18 years old and 2 years ago my father died of a drug overdose and my mother is alive but never comes to see us. i woke up one day to the sound of my mother screaming. we were getting taken away. the police were downstairs with my aunt. they gave us candy and released us into her custody. i was 7 and my two sisters were 5 and 3.we are normal and happy now and we have a very good life. i won i silver. "I WANT TO WIN!"<3
- Loners group list • next in list
A contest entry
- I Remember When by Raining Kisses.
910 points, ended February 17, 60 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Emo/ Death/ Abuse by Violent Glass.
550 points, ended February 13, 59 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Wake up to ALL Abuse - Prewrites Welcome by Miss Faerie.
700 points, ended March 3, 61 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PAIN... by Violent Glass.
570 points, ended March 16, 79 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I WANT ANYTHING! by Umi Juvariel.
4300 points, ended April 9, 369 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - darkside by emoempess.
700 points, ended May 16, 201 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITES THAT HAVE WON BRONZE OR SILVER ONLY by liquidmindforever.
400 points, ended May 31, 99 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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I'm really sorry that happen to you
Its a verry good poem but still I'm so sorry....
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RULES
Dear Poet,
Thank you for entering my contest: PREWRITES FOR BRONZE & SILVER TROPHY WINNERS,ONLY
Please return to the rules. There, take note
that you have omitted two of them, which are
to be placed in AN'S.
Once you've complied, IM with TITLE and I'll
be happy to read and enter THE WAY IT WAS
into my contest.
Until then
best wishes and
stay
liquid -
your writing is intense honest and stunning in its painful vibe but you forgot to include a dream car in your AN so i have to DQ you...
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omg this was bloody said.
Made me cry. I am soo sorry
you had to go through this.
I read it and I couldn't move
at all. I stiffined up and couldn't
move until after I read it. Great
write. and again sorry. -
Wow. i dont have any words for this one really. i cant imagine the fear that you must have gone through to witness such horrible things so often. I love the imagery in this
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Great insight into spousal abuse. It is sad when children witness this.Excellent write and good luck in my contest.
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Tiffany...I am so sorry you went through this. I am glad I never had to endure this in my younger years. I had a great time growing up with wonderful parents. This is quite sad, emotional and just an angry piece that comes from you. Take care and remember you are loved.
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hey hun, i still love this piece, i think it's great, but i gave it a silver in my last last contest
so if you want you can remove it and put in another one one cuz i don't like giving out more trophies to poems i've already awarded k?
still love it though! -
Judged
Your author notes merely impact a dozen times more on your poem.
Your words really do sound like a child is crying them out, telling her story out of fear and the desire to stay with what she knows - even if it isn't good for her.
I am glad, to read from your authors notes, that you live a happy "normal" life now. That you aren't still suffering from what you have seen.
Thank you for entering my contest and good luck
Shari
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i can relate to this in a way
my father was veryabuseive but only towards my older sister and i
what aways puzzled me was that fact that he didn't drink or do drugs
so he just hut us b'cuz that who he was
it's kinda hard you know
you should read one of my poems it's called 'shattered silence''
i think you'd like it
this was a great write
i just wish none of us had to write about it
thanx for sharing
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I ENJOYED THIS IT IS A BRAVE AND HONEST WRITE .I DON'T KNOW IF IT WAS INTENDED BUT THE ODD GRAMAR MISTAKES REALLY ADDED TO THE AMBIANCE OF CHILDHOOD VULNEABILITY.THIS WAS REALLY EFFECTIVE
THANKS FOR THE ENTRY -
Powerful write. I'm glad you were able to overcome the anxiety that comes with abuse. Sometimes the affects last a lifetime.
I did notice some spelling mistakes such as She screaming really loud ... it should be She's (she is) and I thought you loves us should be I thought you loved us. It kind of takes away from the poem. -
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about the way it was
hey i appreciate your comment. it means alot. i caught the one speeling error. i was just to lazy to fix it. i did not notice the other one, so thank you for the feedback.=)
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wow....this story is so hard for otheres that dont know grasp the feeling of what it is like to have your parents fight like this and go through a home life like this, but you did a great job. i loved it. great story and poem!
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A very sad life you've painted here, and one sadly I can relate to. Powerful emotions and I like how you start your poem, like a child might talk, not sure if that's a mistake or you meant it written like that. Anyway it works and adds power to your poem. There are however some real typos in your poem but it doesn't take away any of the power of this poem. Thanks for sharing this piece of reality here with us at AP.
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Beautiful powerful strong write. I loved this. It hit home. Keep up the beautiful work. I wish you the best of luck in my contest and thank you for entering this piece. I really liked the lines:
"Daddy, dont hurt her,
She screaming really loud,
Daddy dont you love us,
I thought you loves us,
I thought you loved mommy to,"
*~*bee*~* -
oops forgot:
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Wow... it gave me goose bumps. Im sorry that you had to go through all of that. I know how some of that does... not a lot, but i can relate. my step-dad was kind of like that... alcoholic and abusive. I can totally understand.
You hear the normal things:
It gets better though...One day at a time...Everything will be ok...ect., ect., ect.
It never helps...
Wonderful write! -
omg
I Got bumps reading this.. I absolutly love it.. it is amazing.. and i am sorry you had to go threw that.. my father is also an acholoic and is very abusive ... mom loves him though so we stay around.. but im so sorry it hapend..
very good write...
XXDeaths-GirlXX
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very deep
tiffany, that was a very deep poem, this is jessie. i cried when i read it. very nice though.
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