dear you (who was once my world),
i licked the ashes of my love
bitter and stale on my tongue
it tasted nothing like your passion
more along the lines of acid
burning straight through me
now i have two holes instead of one
maybe next time i'll learn
to just let go
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Extremely cutting and with an emotional conciseness that make this poem a very memorable read.
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Yeah I guess we all have to learn something in life dont we
Great job on this piece, and on your description. It was very well done, and easily understandable.
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Bravo, dear! Awesome write, emotions that tend to linger and definitely create more holes. Stunning piece.
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Wow, It was pretty deep. The kind of thing that would be great as a song, I liked it. The first lines got me attracted to the rest. It really works well.
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Strong writing! The first two lines are very memorable. Also the taste imagery. Nice job!
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Chilling
I love this one! It gave me chills....I bet this will hit home for a lot of people. -
breath taking, you make me feel your pain and anger to the person.
i have been going throw alot of that lately so this speaks more to me then alot of poems.
it is this kind of connection with emotion that i read poetry.
keep the great ones coming.
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