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The Crones Meet ( the Scottish Play )

Missing image

Ah,my sisters dear, merry met are we!
Set upon this plain by blackest night we three.  
Tis passing well our presence here marks the night,
I taste an evil wind that appoints fates by blight.

Alas then by the itching of my nose,
most wicked death this dusk unfolds.
secret must be, our meet upon this heath,
anon, Macbeth doth come, sisters be now brief.

A pall that's fair and foul again, measures now mixed ,
I fear tonight by all the Norns, his cruelest fate be fixed.
I, low by the fog that masks, this evil night bespeaks,
Macbeth attends us now, heed well, his future now he seeks.

 

 

The Crones await

Author notes

the Scottish play " Fair is foul and foul is fair, hover through the fog and filthy air."
picture photo bucket
I have always wanted to play one of the three witches, wait a minute, I do not need a play.............................

 

 

The Norns are Norse witches who also roamed Scotland and the isles 

A contest entry

this is my first try at anything like this be helpful but kind

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • aeolia
    March 13

    Edit | Reply
    i liked this. and i like how you refer to it as the "scottish play"; are you involved in theatre too? i was once thrown off the stage and forced to do a strange ritual outside after saying the name of the play.

    anyway, there are some places in here that are iffy, such as the first line (but that's mainly because you should have a space after a comma, like "sisters dear, merry met"). the second line feels incomplete; you say "set upon this plain by blackest night we three," but i'm thinking "set" is an adjective here to describe "we" and you end the phrase there. we three, set on this plain, do what? that threw me off a tad but it's nothing irreparably distracting.

    "A pall that's fair and foul again, measures now mixed
    I fear tonight by all the Norns, his cruelest fate be fixed."
    my favourite part. just thought i should mention that i especially liked it.

    and one thing to remember about any rhyming piece, regardless of whether it's a sonnet, ballad, or limerick, is that you should generally stick to the same number of syllables per line and the same metre. if you vary up the syllable count to something like 6-8-6-8, of course that's fine, as long as you keep it consistent throughout the poem. here your stanzas are 10-11-11-12, 10-8-10-11, 13-14-13-14. it's not very consistent and the leaps in syllables between lines and stanzas aren't very smooth. you could probably go back over this for that reason.

    nonetheless, i enjoyed this. thanks for the entry and sorry about the wait in judging!

    -endymion


    • Draig aine gold member
      March 14
      Edit | Reply

      thabkyou for your excellent commenets

      I am a lover of thearter and sit on the board of our local arts council, but I gave soared the world my acting so far, I appreciate your in depth review, I write mostly haiku and tanka with some free verse so my rhming is no set form just my quirkey
      mind
      Anne


  • penman gold member
    February 9
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    What a wonderful creation. so very well done. Best of luck in the contest