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Everybody Wants to Go to Heaven

Everybody wants to go to heaven
But nobody wants to die
The truth is just too hard to take
It's easier to lie

Of course you're in a better place
Out of that dead-end town
That's what we're gonna tell ourselves
As we forget you're not around

The preacher at your funeral
You would have hated him
Your death, he said, was the result
Of years and years of sin

The first bitch ate the apple
She fed it to her man
And sin has been here practically
Since this sad world began

Is that the best you've got?
That's all you have to say?
I guess you're not in heaven now
'Cause you forgot to pray.

I wish that I could lie
And make myself believe
That somewhere you're still out there
Running wild and free

In some other dimension,
I close my eyes (and try) to see
But somewhere deep inside
It's just not real to me

Everybody wants to go to heaven,
But ask around you'll find
That everyone is going to hell
In someone else's mind

Author notes

Another one. Because I miss him more than I thought I would.

author: tigerspence2012

***Contest Entry****

HEY! ENTER THIS! SO MANY PROMPTS!!!!!!!!! by Heroesrox

Option #5- Mentality

Spencer Pearson, age 18

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9
  • That was extremely intresting I love this it was fasinating.


    The Positives:
    Great imagery and some very fasinating verses here


    Room For Improvement:
    Nothing I can see you did wonderful



    My Favorite Part:
    Is that the best you've got?
    That's all you have to say?
    I guess you're not in heaven now
    'Cause you forgot to pray.

    I wish that I could lie
    And make myself believe
    That somewhere you're still out there
    Running wild and free

    In some other dimension,
    I close my eyes (and try) to see
    But somewhere deep inside
    It's just not real to me

    WOW this was so intesnse!
    Overall:

    I give this an 8/10 you did great. I hope to see you in my future contests thanks so much for entering.

    ~*~Apathetic Poison~*~


  • Heroesrox
    February 27
    Edit | Reply
    Good write! Thanx for the netry!


  • ToxicSuicide
    February 21

    Edit | Reply
    I pretty much love this one. The first and the last verses package the rest of the poem nicely. My absolute favorite part was,
    "The first bitch ate the apple
    She fed it to her man
    And sin has been here practically
    Since this sad world began"
    And from what other people are saying, I'd say I'm not crazy and that this is very good. Thank you for taking time and entering my contest to share your poetry with me. Good luck!
    ~ToxicSuicide.


  • innocence jaded.xx
    February 16

    Edit | Reply
    well written. i liked this (: though i'm not much of a fan of rhyme, you really did well with not making it sound forced. i also liked the message that comes from this poem. it's inspiring, in a way. thank you for entering♥


  • Mister Monday
    February 8

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, great write. Sadly enough, it's true. Keep writing, stay safe, all that good stuff. Thank you for entering and good luck. :]

    ~Monday.

  • This was different, I really liked it, beautiful in it's own way. Keep up the awesome work. I wish you the best of luck in my contest and thank you for entering this piece. I really liked the lines:

    "The first bitch ate the apple
    She fed it to her man
    And sin has been here practically
    Since this sad world began"

    *~*bee*~*


  • Antebellum
    January 31

    Edit | Reply
    This is great. Its very well written
    "Everybody wants to go to heaven,
    But ask around you'll find
    That everyone is going to hell
    In someone else's mind"

    this part is so true.


  • Symphony
    January 30

    Edit | Reply
    Yikes - this was moving, in an unusual manner, but as Slaughter Lord said, you truly are a magnificent writer ;

    For me, none of the verses here were cliche - you didn't use any of the overused examples or writings of "I wish you were in heaven, I wish you were still here" type ideas, but took the theme and made it your own;

    Particularly liked, "
    I wish that I could lie
    And make myself believe
    That somewhere you're still out there
    Running wild and free"

    because none of us truly know what happens after death, no matter how we hope and pray and etc...

    Very well written - thank you for entering

  • "The first bitch ate the apple
    She fed it to her man
    And sin has been here practically
    Since this sad world began"

    That verse and the last where my favourites. You are a magnificent writer.

1 - 9 of 9