As a Little kid, I was an adventurous thing.
I always had the impulse to climb the trunks of old gumtrees.
I see land, skies, space, and feel the urge to dance and run.
I lay on the itchy yellow grasslands and watch the clouds pass.
I liked prod, and pretend to study those poor creatures that sting.
I would throw aside my shoes and wade through the creek.
I collected old bits of coloured glass that had corroded over time
I tried and failed to spark a fire by rubbing a stick.
I crushed and mixed red and white with water to make Ocre.
and spent hours making face paint to spread over my friends cheek.
We'd clap our sticks and improvise our own bare-foot tribal dance.
Our voices could be heard singing and chanting as the sun went down
Words that no one in the world understood, words of our own creation.
We would gather around and tell our own myths and dreamtimes stories
The land and its history had me in a kind of childish trance.
On summer days when the creeks ran dry, we would do rock paintings
other days, we would try to build humpies and makeshift shelters.
We would sit down and imagine an Elder telling us the secrets of his land.
Our race, whether English, Arabic, Asian - it did not matter, we all dreamed of being Aussies.
Our youthful eyes saw Australia's 'real' people in awe, our minds tainting.
A contest entry
- FOR AUSSIE GROUP MEMBERS ONLY by Shelly Beattie 2.
700 points, ended February 12, 4 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think??? Any comments would be much appreciated.
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Congrats on the gold
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Love it thank you for entering
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I like this one as its an uncomplicated tale of the ramblings of children. **
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This is wonderful but needs to be put into anything goes. Bob who suggested this contest has asked me to transfer all poems that do not fit what he asked for, over to our other contest anything goes. I have to oblige as he put up a lot of points for this to help out. I love th epoem so look forward to commenting on it in the other contest.
Sorry for the inconvenience.
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I really enjoyed your adventures, my Mum grew up in the Blue mountains and she would tell us of the adventures they had as the bush was their backyard. This poem of yours reminded me of them. What a wonderful childhood to have.
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Very descriptive prose here, extremely colourful and a downright pleasant read.
One suggestion would be to try and reduce the repetitions of "I would".
Enjoyable piece
Best wishes -Emmjay
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really amazing!!
wow, that was really amazing,
it flowed so beautifully!
I'm going to guess ur australian. yay!
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Thanks!
Yep, Mari I'm Australian heheh
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