i.
I used to plagiarize the way you loved me,
because I couldn't make myself love you on my own.
You used to paint my lips red with crimson stars and gravitational pulls and love you used to give to only me. You'd use the callouses on your fingertips to caress my secrets right out of my collarbones; You'd breathe passion into my veins and force me to exhale my confusion.
but once you exhale, you're once again,
forced to inhale.
ii.
I fell in love with the way you bit your lip, because it meant I'd finally gotten close enough to you to make you feel uncertainty for the first time in your life.
Though uncertainty is often confused with vulnerability, which is what I yearned for you to feel;
so that on one level, you could somehow relate to me.
iii.
I know I've broken infinite promises, and I've shredded my heart in attempt to feel your warmth a time too many. I know there'll always be someone far better than me, and I know that I'm just a scattered reality among strands of aquamarine and cyan dancing across your eyelids.
but for some reason;
love still refuses to find me.
iii.
Dependence on your heartbeat leaves me breathless,
as I now know that all I've ever wanted is for our beats to match...
...so that I could know that love wasn't as far away as I thought.
Your heart sends me blackened love letters, seeping through my pores
and overwhelming the intoxication I plague myself with.
No one ever told me that butterflies had to change before they were made beautiful,
and no one ever told me that pain-soaked forevers don't really last all that long.
I just wish I would've known.
iv.
You used to compare every night sky to my eyes, saying that if you'd ever find one as magnificent, you'd let me know.
..you never did.
Though I think it's just because my eyes are made up of colors the stars didn't want.
[I am not who I want to be.]
v.
Moonstruck realities forever haunt me, taunting my heart-breaths and my penned apologies; guilty of wanting love and wanting truth and most importantly,
wanting you.
I thought that the pattern of my heartbeat had been learned by the world whilst I was unaware;
I felt shadowed and overexposed and like everything I'd ever worked to hide hadn't been.
But maybe, I'd just..
fallen in love.
vi.
Paint my lips purple, so that I'll know what being numb feels like.
Paint my lips gray, so that I'll know what it feels like to be stuck in un-lined clouds.
Paint my lips red, so that I know you want me.
Paint my heart red, so that someday, I'll come to know what love feels like.
Gold trophy winner
Silver trophy winner
Honorable mention
Adding your comment:
this is amazing!!!
