And she’s swaying her barely clothed hips and b|l|i|n|k|i|n|g her drunken eyes.
All the =*lights*= of the stage are like close-up stars in her ( (dilated) ) dreams.
The end is so close…
Drink-drink-drink up now sweetheart, you only feel this wasted once.
His hands are ;melding; to her skinny waist.
She can barely register his .calloused. fingers sliding up her top.
But she spins and F
A
L
L
S,
Into the darkness.
. . . .
Her lids feel cemented to the bags under her eyes.
Trains are rushing fast paced velocity across her head.
Her cheeks are d]a]n]c]i]n]g with mascara and her pores clogged with foundation.
Her teeth feel grotty and her body comprehends it feels D.I.R.T.Y.
She has been so
U s e d.
His eyeliner note is reading
“Love you long time, babe.”
On the bathroom glass.
Author notes
Don't trust me-3oh3 = LOVE!!
it's pretyy annoying though cause i got the album before that song came 'big'. But anyways love it!=]
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AP name: Candy Morphine.
I relate this poem to the last option which is Your poem at the top. Written about sorta drunken anticipation. Love your work btw =]
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evil angels are the best kind
Form: Dirtty Pretty,
So sorry for entering another DP, but i'm only entering 2.
Ap name:
Candy Morphine.
A contest entry
- Contest #3 Lots of Options by tsukiyo.
578 points, ended February 6, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I'll Have To Warn You; This Is Going To Hurt, Really Hurt. by SarahEatsAirplane.
1750 points, ended March 21, 69 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Forms/Dirty Pretty by the evil angel.
400 points, ended May 10, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options. ♥Lots and lots of options♥ by Antebellum.
960 points, ended May 11, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Song prompts!!! Come check it out :D by here for you always.
800 points, ended July 31, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
. . . There's not much left to say . . .
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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I like this piece
Thanks for entering my contest and good luck
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wow this is amazing.
good luck thanks for entering..
btw I had too before it came out.. I saw them on myspace and had a friend download it lol -
I don't usually like DP, but I LOVE this!! It has wonderful imagery and is raw and powerful. Great job!
And "Don't Trust Me" is one of my favorite songs.
3OH!3=<3 -
I LOVE this poem!!!!! Best of luck in the contests
btw this is one of the best poems read on this site <3
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Now that I've read a few dirty pretty poems, I'm really quite intrigued by it. I don't think I'm going to write it though. So thank you for showing me and enlightening me on this form that everybody seems to either hate or love. I guess I'm just one of the people that have become kind of neutral. This poem in general is so sad and dark and I love those types of poems. It so encompasses the real feeling of its topic and I'd like to commend you on that. Well written and thank you for showing me a bit of what dirty pretty is like.
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And what is dirty pretty? I asked for that too. Will comment on the actual poem later.
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i'm glad that you like my writing. thank you very much.
this is a great DP poem. its classic, but somehow original.
great job.
good luck. -
"you only feel this wasted once"
i LOVE that line.
you are really good.
and this poem is amazing!
great write ♥
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aaaaaah I love it XD
3oh!3 is definitely amazing, and I love the line you used for the title.
this piece was amazing. Loved the description and the formatting was done well too. The first stanza was absolutely awesome, and you didn't lose any of its intensity. Well penned.
~HH
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wow great write!!! hope you do well in the contest!!!
LOVE LOVE LOVE it... especially the title! -
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lol; thanks, but i can';t take credit for the title, they are lyrics off the song (wish i could though=P)
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"you only feel this wasted once."
isn't that the truth?
haha.
this is a perfect display of dp
i wish i could write like this.
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Oh my gosh; You write SOO much better then me. i love everything about your words!!!
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ooh my god whatever! you are an amaaaazing writer. i just write my thoughts, i suuuck at it.
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3oh3 is love, I agree
[favorite line: t-tell your boyfriend if he says hes got beef that I'm a vegetarian and I ain't fuckin scared of him xD]
Onto the poem!
I love it, to be honest. There's pain in it, and imagery. To be honest, I can relate, so you did a wondeful job there.
The first line caught my attention, and the rest of it just dragged me in permanently.
"Her lids feel cemented to the bags under her eyes.
Trains are rushing fast paced velocity across her head.
Her cheeks are d]a]n]c]i]n]g with mascara and her pores clogged with foundation."
I love that part. It absoluetly amazes me that a poet can use "dancing" to something like that.
Thank you for entering the contest, and good luck
φ Anneliese -
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Wow thanks heaps=].
Oh gosh, i LOVE that line + my favourite too(: I wanted to use it in my poem/as a title, but i just found it really hard to weave it into the feel of the poem. -
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Yeah, I think that lyric would be hard to use as a title for ANY poem
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I like it. And I like the title. Awesome write. Good luck in the contests.
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