Frigid syllables fell like freezing rain
to the frozen tundra of the National Mall.
Random thoughts strung together hinted
At something great attained yet unattainable.
Those the subject of camera lenses looked earnest
Others took the opportunity to visit the portable bathrooms.
The children’s faces contorted with confusion and
No one knew when to applaud.
The crowd was not a collection of individuals
But a massive hunk of humanity cemented together
By the peanut butter of false expectations.
History was made, hope was reborn but will
disappear like a frosty winter breath.
Here is the link to the Inaugeration Day Poem written and read by Poet Elizabeth Alexander
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAeq0kWtpdk
A contest entry
- How much courage do you have--Part 2 by Exit-Stage-Right.
7000 points, ended February 19, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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JennyLee! Thank you for maintaining your anonymity during the contest! I wanted your poem for top honors, but C made some interesting points about the poem which ultimately filled that slot. Congrats to you, hope to see more of you on here!
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The peanut butter line does stand out! Since the poem starts out with "Frigid syllables" perhaps it would have been better to cement the expectations together with Rocky Road ice cream or something instead of nice warm, creamy peanut butter. On the other hand, we're being fed the warm bowl of platitude soup from the Dems who are worse at fiscal management than the Republicans if that's possible.
Overall, I'm drawn to this poem because you actually talked about something tangible and didn't obfuscate the message beneath layers of metaphorical gobbeldy gook.
Well done.
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Unrealistic population
A nicley presented concern that the euphoria may not last the cold blast of reality.
Indeed, so much unrealistic expectation has been loaded on the new president that one hurts to think of the popular disappointment [popular opinion is always an angry and unreasoning mob] that may arise if he makes, as well he must, mistakes and bad decisions. He is not the Messiah, after all.
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What!?! You don't think that the fact we appointed an African-American to the White House will solve the world's problems? You must be Anti-American and a racist....
No, not really, I'm right with you on this one and just hope that Obama can go and prove us wrong, as this is one case I'd be thrilled to have been wrong.
Nice write. I was a little unsure about the using "peanut butter" to describe the "stuck togetherness" but it's definitely an interesting word.
As someone else with little experience writing free-verse (the only way to get into this contest to begin with) I think you did an impressive job here.
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Peanut butter? Oh god I loved that line, this is strong and patriotic and gives us the insight to the day
C
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