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In the eyes of death

In the eyes of death
I am a being full of hate
Someone he would love to reap
And welcome to hell's gates

He is always beckoning
Grinning with malicious delight
Nothing more does he want
Than to take my life with his sycthe

"The pain will go away", he says
"Your heart will hurt no more"
"So follow me into the darkness"
"You're always welcome at my door"

He won't stop following me
He won't leave me alone
He's getting more agressive now
And his voice sends chills through my bones

I have to get away from him
He's messing with my head
And I fear he just won't stop
Till the day I end up dead

Author notes

F r 3 3 B i r d F a L L i n

A contest entry

What did you think

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • chael
    October 28

    Edit | Reply

    But you've got him slickered,

    'Cause he knows you're not afraid. And that drives him crazy. Check out ''Don't Come Back Here Alive'' it's about meesin' with the devil.....chael (love this poem)


  • VerminVomit
    March 7

    Edit | Reply
    the first time i read it thought it sucked
    i liked the topic, but i dont know.... i didnt like it

    i reread it hoping that it would sound better or hoping id find a better reason to hate it
    okay, now i like it
    "Grinning with malicious delight" is my fave part, it reminds me of a shirt i have
    after seeing the pic, i disagree about him smiling, but who cares, it sounds cool
    the poem isnt really amazing, but its definitly good
    you might wanna consider changing the background, it doesnt work with the poem

    thanks for entering


  • Maili Knephthan gold member
    February 23

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering. It was very well written although i can't say that i agree with some of it. Thank you for sharing. This isn't exactly what i was looking for. Better luck next time.


  • Cyanide Dreams
    February 19

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent. This is exactly what this contest calls for. It's so dark and even though I felt I've read this elsewhere, you just have a way to make it better. I think you could elaborate on what kinds of thing death does and what kinds of things you do to provoke death. The imagery in this poem was superb and it clearly painted a picture in my mind. This was really well done and thanks for entering.

    Josh


  • morgana raven Greeters member
    February 5

    Edit | Reply
    This is quite a dark write, well themed, well written and well rhymed.
    Thanks for entering,
    Laura.


  • Creative20mind
    February 1
    Edit | Reply

    AWESOME

    awesome hahahha


  • StarEyes
    January 29

    Edit | Reply
    WOW! What a read! This is beyond words.
    Dark, that is for sure. You know, we all know that day will arrive for us, but I choose to live each day, doing what I enjoy, and when that day finally arrives for me, I will look back and say, I did the best I could.

    Best of luck in this contest!


  • storiesuntold gold member
    January 29

    Edit | Reply

    Thoughts unleashed

    We all have the choice of thoughts and to direct our life on the journey of our choosing . I cry for so many locks themselves within unwilling to even try to see the light that is about them each day . Reach out with an open heart and know you never were alone but you are refusing yourself joy and love for you only listen to your inner thoughts from a mind not yet mature enough to realize each day we are given a chance to have life in its fullest it is within our own power to choose joy or sorrow .


    • Fr33BirdFaLLin
      January 29
      Edit | Reply
      that is a good way to look at things, but that means im using my power to choose sorrow

1 - 15 of 15