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My dream :)

I was just a child,
it was just a dream,
a tiny thorn in the sands of time,
that stayed in my memory.

The moth on my canvas,
the yawn in my prayer,
or embers in the ambience,
that are constantly there.

The memory i sketch right now,
is one that i hold fast,
to keep it safe from the dark and lonely,
memories that pass.

There's an exhibition,
in my peripheral vision,
it's my dream that i want bad,
all my poems on display,
the best dream i've ever had.

So now dear guardian,
please display,
what i've always wanted,
a really nice site to post my poems,
it's what i've always wanted.

Author notes

If you didn't already guess this is about allpoetry.com

A contest entry

What do You think?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • fangs to blame
    March 16

    Edit | Reply
    "There's an exhibition,
    in my peripheral vision,
    it's my dream that i want bad,
    all my poems on display,
    the best dream i've ever had."

    This piece is amazing. Love the word usage. You are a brilliant writer.


  • Eamon
    February 11

    Edit | Reply

    Your Dream's :) can come true.


    I Used too dream of that too but it took me 15 years to get the first of my books published..............
    ((((DONT GIVE UP TO YOUR DREAMS AND ONE DAY LIKE -
    - ME YOU MIGHT HAVE ELEVEN OR TWELVE BOOKS OUT -
    - THERE FOR ALL THE WORLD TO SEE))))



    There's an exhibition,
    in my peripheral vision,
    it's my dream that i want bad,
    all my poems on display,
    the best dream i've ever had.

    So now dear guardian,
    please display,
    what i've always wanted,
    a really nice site to post my poems,
    it's what i've always wanted.


  • Todays Poem Box
    February 1

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent job with the word bank!
    14/15 words used.
    Great job with the rhymes.
    Thanks for entering and best of luck!
    Write on.
    ~*~


  • Mrs. Moretti
    February 1

    Edit | Reply
    Ummm... whoa. You're an intense rhymer. I love it!

    "The memory i sketch right now,
    is one that i hold fast,
    to keep it safe from the dark and lonely,
    memories that pass."

    I couldn't choose which was my favorite part.... But that's one of them. I didn't have any idea what it was about until the fourth stanza- I was just so absorbed in the imagery- floating through the dream.

    Serioiusly- wonderful.


  • misshugglebugglez
    January 28

    Edit | Reply
    wowzahs, this was great! =) i loved it! "a tiny thorn in the sands of time..."
    "the yawn in my prayer"
    awesome job! good luck in your contest! im sure you'll place awesomely!!! hoorayzzz! =D
    huggglez,
    adria


    • Jaffa-
      February 1
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks so much. It means a lot.
      hugglez bk
      Kayy

1 - 6 of 6