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FirstTime

Missing image
surely dreams reflect reality, desires
hands-full of sand slipped through
nervous fingers

blue dances into moonlight, darkness
time butchered emotional outcry
wanton, willing

another fatality producing pleasure, lust
ebbing rapidly as natures stormy sea
one wound; one bleed

mystical moments became precious, sweet
oceanic flooding washed purity away,
unpolluted seeds

measured now by grains of ivory sand
mirrored dreams still enticing
images's of love

ecstasy

Author notes

Love...it was his first time

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • jmk8602
    January 31, 2009

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    First time-

    A nice write, I enjoyed reading it. The twelfth line stood out as being particularly well written.

    I think this piece lacks a little bit of that passion I was hoping for. While its a great write I just don't feel much emotionally while reading it.

    Keep up the good work, and I look forward to reading more of your work.


  • darell
    January 30, 2009

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    Beautiful

    This was an enchanting mix of
    varied emotions. Love takes us
    on a journey for better or worse.
    In the end it's what we take with us
    and reflect upon. As a famous person
    once said, "It's better to have loved
    and lost, than to have never loved at all."
    Lovely sentiments painted on the canvas
    of the mind


  • Brazos silver member
    January 29, 2009

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    "surely dreams reflect reality, desires"

    So much truth in that line, so much. While the first time is not necessaryly the best, it will always be the first, and is remembered quite fondly in times of leisure. Long forgotten are hard-driving times of lust and avarice, they will never be like the first time, for they can't...

    Beautifully done, sweet one, as usual it is always a pleasure to read you. Even if one never quite understands all the metaphors, the beauty and the flow of your magical wizardry with the pen are there to fall back into, like a soft, fluffy, pillow...

    Rave on artist, I commend you, and love you as well.

    Brazos


  • PastelMoons gold member
    January 29, 2009

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    You have so eloquently
    captured the magic
    and ever lasting memories
    of 'the first time'
    Beautiful !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Thanks for sharing
    Best wishes in the contest

    ~Pastel


  • dawgzilla
    January 28, 2009

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    peoples first time will remain in almost everyones memory...y? years of puberty not only unleash lust into that special moment, but also a sea of feelings.....all rushing in your mind....but it is best described in the last line.."ecstasy" i couldnt find a better word myself......bravo


  • princessleejwctlvr2
    January 28, 2009

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    wow this is so truly amazing!!!!! What an awesome and amazing piece!!! This is truly sweet and gentle a truly romantic write!!!! Your imagery is so clear and vivid!!!! You did a beautiful job with it!!!!! I It!!!!! My words can't express how wonderful this truly is!!!!!!! Your words are so perfect and they flow like a fountain!!!!!!! Keep up the FANTABULOUS WORK!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!


  • Rovingone gold member
    January 28, 2009

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    The beauty of this poem, set on a beach, the sand the passing of the time, winds and tides rushing in and out and the moments lingered over. The thought of it being the first time, so tender and sweet.

1 - 7 of 7