Archaic bark holds
Secrets previously lost -
Dismantle his garb.
Let fallen soldiers roam free
Within Death's intricate arms.
Author notes
Picture prompt: http://x-horizon.deviantart.com/art/The-Dark-Tree-9507455
Tanka is a classic form of Japanese poetry related to the haiku with five unrhymed lines of five,
seven, five, seven, and seven syllables. (5, 7, 5, 7, 7)
Mmm'.... yes. Not really sure what to say about this. O o;; When I saw the picture, for some reason I envisioned an old, unmarked grave would have been laying under the tree? I'm not sure if I portrayed that properly enough, but this is my first tanka in two years, if I'm not mistaken. x3
Enjoy, dolls. ♥
A contest entry
- Haiku and Tanka - Picture Prompts. by TheSpiralGenerator.
550 points, ended January 31, 17 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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These are great! I never really use poetry forms, but tankas are like...I don't even know. You manage to sound so sophisticated without really saying much, and yet you're saying SO much!
Wow...I just blew my fuckin' mind. >_<;
TERRORIZERS!
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Thanks for leaking out my secret, Rose. XD
Anyways. On to comment this poem whilst half-asleeps. *rubs eyes*
Reading this, I actually envisioned the grave under the tree too, which I didn't know that's what you were going for until after I read the author's notes, but you hit the nail on the head with your poem.
For not writing one in 2 years, you really did a great job 
Thanks for entering dear, and good luck. ♥
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Wowzers, darlin'. What a lovely tanka that apparently reminds me of Shar. =( Laugh at me if you will, for I know you seem to think shouting "Bacon!" would remind me of him too.
-whispers- Anything to DO with breakfast reminds Sadien of my story about where they have sex while Kira's making breakfast.
It's a secret, so don't tell anyone.
UHH'...yes, your language is brilliant as usual, and you make it flow all nice and stuff.
I'm sorry, I suck at comments...but, like...I loved the words you used and how you gave it a foreboding feeling because that is apparently your forte or something. Lol.
Good look in the contest, love.
♥
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Lulz. Yer' so silly, love. But I won't tell no one about the secret. //Nodnod.// ...even though everyone can see it now! =o AHNOOOEEEEZZZZ.
Thank you for your kind words, as well, darlin'.
Like, I guess foreboding is my forte? Because it seems to leak into most of my poetry these days, lmfao. As well as the whole: "I used to love you, but now I don't? But yer' still a fun lay?" I'm strange that way. e e;;
Many, many, many, manyyyy... MMMAAANNNYYYY thanks. ♥ -
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Noooo only YOU can see it!
But yer'...you probably write so much about love/hate/sex relationships 'cause you've experienced a lot of it? You're ventiiiiing. ♥
That's okay though. -nods- I lurve all your poetry, even if it IS twisted.
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