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[ Pain engulfs me ]

Pain engulfs me
I can't think of why.

I dream of losing you
it's tragic,
the loneliness it then plays

I'm sitting here crying,
but I don't cry easy.
Somethings wrong
with my mind.

I try fingering the difference
and all my choices came up red,
and as the pain deepens
I start to panic against it
but at least I can see

Agony embraces me,
pain kills me,
you're leaving me.....

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • Iyaden
    January 28

    Edit | Reply
    Very intensly emotional, with that 3rd stanza (for me), being the true crescendo of your poem. I have seen many expressing a separation but to delve on it before it happens, is an infrequent take.


    • Angelrain
      January 29

      Edit | Reply
      Thank you!! I'm glad you enjoyed it. and the 3/4th is suppose to be the high point, at least that's what I was aiming for and then the rest is what happens as you fall in your own feelings. Think it works?

      Truly, thank you!!


      • Iyaden
        January 29
        Edit | Reply
        Yes it most certainly works! our minds can be pushed t experience situations even before we get there. I really did enjoy this