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The wait

A moonlight glimmer,
and he appeared
but a moment.

Over her bed
he hovered
and she smiled.
The wait was over.

A single touch
and her old age
became youth,
the heavy sighs of life
made weightless,
breathless.

Author notes

Prompt: Breathless

A contest entry

Critiques please. Good and bad. I can't improve without your help.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    February 8
    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is a great piece, the imagery was spot on. Best to you in the contest


  • Denerica
    January 28
    Edit | Reply
    Never too old to feel intacy LOL, well it was an well thought out write with words. Blessings