This is how you love me...?
Whisper dangerous, sweet nothings in my ear.
No, this was never meant to be.
Your eyes are dazzling, you see
"Be still...do not fear..."
This is how you love me.
The viciousness that I couldn't forsee,
It's too late now and the screams I hear...
No, this was not meant to be!
That screaming...comes from me.
Death is near.
This is how you love me.
For my life, I plea.
"Be still, my dear..."
No, this was never meant to be!
I can't see
and you leave me, dying, here.
This is how you love me?
No. This was never meant to be.
A contest entry
- Villanelles, any subject by ecrivain01.
550 points, ended February 3, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 1014 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Will you please tell me what you think? Constructive Criticism is greatly appreaciated!
Comments
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I read the sequel first
Preferred that, it seemd more vindictive and frightening - whereas this read like a love gone wrong, which indeed it may have been.
Thanks for entering
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I'm not really into vampire poems ...
but this isn't bad for the genre. You need a "d" on the end of this line:
For my life, I plea(d).
Thanks for entering. -
How is it you write one and it's perfect?!?
It's awesome chick, and I love the story line....well done sis
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Thank you, hahaha, and I guess it helps that I had a clear idea of what I had in mind. But trying to make it flow was hard, hahaha
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